Basic Couple Sleeping Positions

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The Spoon

- “genitals against buttocks”, this position is most common in the first few years of a relationship and provides maximum closeness for you and your partner. It is a classic position when one partner takes a protective, intimate stance behind the other as the second person leans their back or behind against them. It’s a skin-on-skin position that provides plenty of emotional and physical comfort. If you like this position, chances are you’re either in a brand new relationship or that the two of you can’t get enough of each other.

Leg Hug

- This is rather casual contact between partners and may indicate that the couple is not comfortable expressing affection at this time, as it is an indirect expression of affection. Common after a fight. The position may also indicate a healthy friendship in the relationship.

The Honeymoon Hug

- A common position in those first few months of a relationship when you are so completely engrossed with eachother you wish you could be physically fused together. A common position just after lovemaking. This position can also indicate lack of independence in a relationship. In the “honeymoon hug” position, you and your partner face each other and entangle limbs.

Pursuit

- This one can be quite tricky. When a partner retreats to the side of a bed it may indicate that he needs some space, howvever it may actually be that he has created the distance because he fells like he wants to be persued by the other party.

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Shingles

- Head on Other's Shoulder also known as the “shingles” position, this position has both partners sleeping on their backs, with one partner resting his or her head on the other's shoulder. It shows a high level of comradeship, where one partner allows the other to play “protector” and nurture them. So if your head is the one that rests on the others shoulder you are most likely the more dependent and compliant in the relationship and vice versa. This could be seen as an attempt to focus all your attention on your partner.

Zen Style

- Ever heard of the Venn Diagram? 2 circles, separate but overlapping? This position may indicate the need of both partners for space. The buttocks normally touch to allow for private connection, but at the same time promoting independence in the relationship by not clinging onto each other.

Sweetheart’s Cradle

- This is a more intimate position than the “shingles” and very nurturing because the partner is being held and almost brought in “under the wing” of the partner.  a sleeping position where one partner lays flat on their back, while the other partner rests their head on the first partner's shoulder or chest, usually with an arm draped across the stomach

The Cliff Hanger

- This is a retreating position, an indication of rejection of the other party. It could also just mean that you are a noisy sleeper and your partner has decided they need some space to get a good night’s rest. Time to have a little chat. 

Loosely Tethered

- A few more years into a marriage or relationship often has partner’s feeling secure enough to put some space between them, maintaining the emotional connection through lightly touching, a knee, hand or foot.

The Crab

- This could be a subconscious need for both parties to pull away from the relationship or marriage. And, a warning alarms sound when just looking at the picture. On the flip side he/she may just be a rather creative sleeper.

 How do You sleep with your Partner?

Three Most Important Things In LIFE

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Three things in life that, once gone, never come back

1. Time

2. Words

3. Opportunity

Three things in life that may never be lost

1. Peace

2. Hope

3. Honesty

Three things in life that are most valuable

1. Love

2. Self-confidence

3. Friends

Three things in life that are never certain

1. Dreams

2. Success

3. Fortune

Three things in life that are most appreciated

1. Generosity

2. Humor

3. Forgiveness

Three things that make a person

1. Hard work

2. Sincerity

3. Commitment

Three things in life that can destroy a person

1. Alcohol / Drugs

2. Pride

3. Anger

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Three things that are truly constant

"FATHER - SON - HOLY GHOST"

Hard Work is Honorable

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”We worked night and day, laboring and toiling so that we would not be a burden to any of you. We did this, not because we did not have the right to such help, but in order to make ourselves a model for you to follow. For even when we were with you, we gave you this rule: ‘If a man will not work, he shall not eat.’” 2Thessalonians 3:8b-10

Hard work is honorable. 

• It gives a man or woman respect for themselves and others. God is honored as well when you work hard. Be careful not to subscribe to a false theology that uses God in place of hard work. God, of course, is at work on our behalf, but not without our sincere and focused efforts. 

God has a grand design, and you are a part of His greater work. 

• Your part is faithfulness and hard work. God’s part is leading you into wise decisions, which produce the right results as He receives the glory. As followers of Christ, the quality and quantity of our work is a reflection on God.

Be the Christian who is attractive because your work is excellent. 

• People can depend on you, and you go the extra mile even when it is not your responsibility. For the good of the team and the glory of God, you work hard. You may even deserve other benefits, but you refuse them during this season for the sake of the bigger picture.

Indeed, hard work keeps you out of trouble. 

• When you are busy working hard, you do not have time to behave badly. Gossip and complaining are absent from the lips of a hard worker. You simply do not have the time or energy to go there. It may be the sweat of your brow or the perspiration of your intellect, either way, work hard.
• Manual labor and mental toil both require hard work. Carefully avoid condescension toward others because their work role is different than yours. We all need each other, and we all need to work hard.
• Your hard work may produce wealth and abundance. Because society values your skills and services, you may even have an over-abundance.

Make sure you keep your success in perspective.

• Keep your heart tender toward God. We seem to pray more when we have little than when we have much more than we need.
• Allow the fruit of your hard work to drive you to your knees in thanksgiving to God.
• Express your gratitude through generous giving.
• Hard work has its benefits; make sure to steward them well.

Moreover, teach your children hard work. 

• A child who is given everything can become soft on sin, discontent, demanding and ungrateful. Hard work teaches children the value of money. It builds a discipline that will serve them throughout their lives. They learn how to work with and relate to people. Hard work is a must for a child to grow into a healthy human being.

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Lastly, keep your motive right as you work hard.

• Keep your focus off the money.
• Reward and compensation will come if the work is done with excellence.
• Stay the course, working hard, loving your family, and taking care of your health.
• Execute your hard work for the glory of God. He is your boss. You are working for Him.

Work hard, Be a blessing and not a burden to others!

Just a Heart Touching Story

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I was walking around in a Big Bazar store making shopping, when I saw a Cashier talking to a boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old..

The Cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll. Then the little boy turned to me and asked: ''Uncle, are you sure I don't have enough money?''

I counted his cash and replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy the doll, my dear.'' The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.

Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to. 'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much . I wanted that to give it to her for her BIRTHDAY.

I have to give the doll to my Mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there.' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My Sister has gone to be with God.. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister...''

My heart nearly stopped. The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told Daddy to tell Mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.' Then he showed me a very nice photo of him where he was laughing. He then told me 'I want Mommy to take my picture with her so my sister won't forget me.' 'I love my Mommy and I wish she doesn't have to leave me, but Daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.' Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.

I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy. 'Suppose we check again your cash, just in case you do have enough money for the doll?''

'OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.' I added some of my money to his with out him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.

The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'

Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that Mommy could give It to my sister. He heard me!'' 'I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my Mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose. My Mommy loves white roses.'

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I finished my shopping in a totally different state from when I started. I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind. Then I remembered a local news paper article two days ago, which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a young woman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on the life-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy?

Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away... I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was exposed for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest. I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever...

The love that the little boy had for his mother and his sister is still, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.

The value of a man or woman resides in what he or she gives, not in what they are capable of receiving.

Am I Really A Fireman Now?

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In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.

The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true. She took her son's hand and asked, 'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up ? Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life ?' Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.' Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards ! And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy one with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.' 'They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix , so we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible. One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition..

The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor ?

When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? 'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window -------- 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room! With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.

With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, 'Chief, am I really a fireman now?' 'Billy, you are, and The Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said.

With those words, Billy smiled and said, 'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing.'

He closed his eyes one last time.

I Pray That You Will Have Enough

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Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I pray you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I pray you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'

'Well...I'm not as young as I once was, she lives so far away & has her own busy life. I have some challenges ahead, and the reality is - her next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I pray you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile.. 'That's a prayer that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I pray you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

• I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.
  
  
• I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.
  
  
• I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.
  
  
• I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.
  
  
• I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.
  
  
• I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.
  
  
  
• I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Then, she began to cry, and walked away.

They say, it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

To all my loved ones family and friends

I PRAY YOU ENOUGH......

Go Ahead, Make Someone Smile Today

Ever have one of those days,

When something seems a bit "off"

But you just can't put your finger on it...

 Or it seems like all the people around you are grouchy and just want to butt heads...

Or just, get into some kind Of weird tug of war?

Sometimes, you just need to take a fresh, new look and get a different perspective on things.

Remember, to try your best To show kindness to others...

cuz It just feels so good!

(Sometimes looking at things From their perspective Might help.....)

So, when life gets you down...

Remember to just keep going,

And keep your head above water..

And you'll get by,

with a little help from your friends!

Have a nice day.

Go Ahead, Make Someone SMILE!

10 Ways To Stay Young And Happy Always

1. Throw out non-essential numbers.
   
   This includes age, weight, and height.
   Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.
   
   
2. Keep only cheerful friends.
   
   The grouches pull you down.
   (Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)
   
   
3. Keep learning.
   
   Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
   Never let the brain get idle.
   'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
   And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!
   
   
4. Enjoy those simple things in life.
   
   
5. Laugh often, long and loud.
   
   Laugh until you gasp for breath.
   And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!
   
   
6. Let the tears happen.
   
   Endure, grieve, and move on.
   The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.
   LIVE while you are alive.
   
   
7. Surround yourself with what you love.
   
   Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
   Your home is your refuge.
   
   
8. Cherish your health.
   
   If it is good, preserve it.
   If it is unstable, improve it.
   If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.
   
   
9. Don't take guilt trips.
   
   Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is.
   
   
10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.
    
    And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares?
    But do share this with someone.

Stay Young And Happy Always!!!

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Sincere Apologies To Everyone

Over the past months I have forwarded funny pictures and jokes to friends who I thought shared the same sense of humour. Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem to have upset quite a few people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow. If you were one of these people, please accept my humblest apologies.

From now on I will only send emails with a cultural or educational content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting structures.

Attached, you'll find a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris .

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For those of you who are interested, The Pont Neuf (French pronunciation: ​[pɔ̃ nœf], "New Bridge") is the oldest standing bridge across the river Seine in Paris, France. It stands by the western (downstream) point of the Île de la Cité, the island in the middle of the river that was, between 250 and 225 BC, the birthplace of Paris, then known as Lutetia and, during the medieval period, the heart of the city.

The bridge is composed of two separate spans, one of five arches joining the left bank to the Île de la Cité, another of seven joining the island to the right bank. Old engraved maps of Paris show that the newly built bridge just grazed the downstream tip of the Île de la Cité; since then, the natural sandbar building of a mid-river island, aided by stone-faced embankments called quais, has extended the island. Today the tip of the island is the location of the Square du Vert-Galant, a small public park named in honour of Henry IV, nicknamed the "Green Gallant".

The name Pont Neuf was given to distinguish it from older bridges that were lined on both sides with houses, and has remained after all of those were replaced. Its name notwithstanding, it has long been the oldest bridge in Paris crossing the Seine. It has been listed since 1889 as a monument historique by the French Ministry of Culture.[3]

Just Fascinating...

Funny and Meaningful Quotes To Read

Being Optimistic is knowing that

All the people you hate are going to die eventually

You just have to wait patiently

Hurt a true heart as many times as you want

Still, it won’t stop loving you

But try to cheat a true heart

It won’t hurt or hate you back

It will only not dare to love you again

-0-

By the time you realize

What your parents said was right

You already have kids

Who begins to think that you are wrong

-0-

Time is the most playful element because…

It lengthens the minutes when you are waiting.

And rushes the hours when you enjoy the moments.

-0-

Define AGONY:

It’s like a one armed man, hanging at the edge of a cliff with his only arm

With his balls begin to devastatingly get ITCHY…

Define DOOM:

He scratched it

-0-

The biggest blessing in our lives,

Is simply the presence of

People who care so much,

Whose love is for real,

And see us much beyond ourselves.

-0-

Sometimes, we dream of having someone we really like.

But life is not like that.

We don’t get everything we want.

But in the end,

We end up having someone better that we dream.

-0-

They say:

If love becomes painful…

Its time to let go and save yourself.

But, if love is true…

Pain is never a reason to let go.

-0-

You are one of those whom I never asked from God.

But still he gave you to me.

I asked him why and He said…

“Coz I know this person can feel your life,”

“In ways others can’t.”

-0-

A lawyer driving on a hi-way

Notices a crowd in an intersection

With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action

He shouted: “I am the son of the victim!!!”

Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.

There, he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people.

A PIG bumped by a trailer truck.

If there is one lesson we, young adults, ought to learn

It should be Maturity…

Maturity to understand that life is unfair

And, maturity not to make things worse.

Maturity to realize that there are things that we can’t change

And, maturity to accept them gracefully.

Maturity in loving

And, maturity to be never bitter if things don’t work out.

-0-

You won’t fully enjoy a swing,

Unless you raise your feet from the ground.

You won’t fully enjoy a boat ride,

Unless you remove the rope from the riverbank.

Your dog won’t fully enjoy its dog life,

Unless you remove the chain from its neck.

Lesson?

Never limit yourself when it comes to happiness.

Learn to let go and move on.

Remember that being happy is a choice.

Don’t let anything hold you back from being yourself.

If people have to leave us in one way or another.

It would be best if they will do it 100% lie-free

And just slap the truth in our faces.

We all do deserve something better than just

Lame excuses because Lies in all sort

Make us appear stupid!

When you have done something wrong

Admit it and be sorry.

No one has ever been choked to death

From swallowing his pride.

-0-

A good friend will never let there friends do stupid things…

ALONE!

-0-

Waiting for someone may not be a good idea after all…

Stealing them might be a better solution…

One day, a blind boy was sitting and waiting for someone to drop a coin so he can buy food. He had a blackboard beside him written, “I am Blind, please feel pity.” Suddenly, a man approached him and dropped a coin and erased what was written on the board. The boy realized it but ignored it. Later, he heard a lot of coins were being dropped in his can. After an hour, the man came back and asked how he was doing. The boy replied, “My can is full of coins. What did you write on my board?” The man read it and it said, “Today is a beautiful day. Too bad I can’t see it.”

Men Are Just Happier People, Don't You Think?

NICKNAMES:
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

This Should Have Been Posted In Schools and Work Places

This has been around before, but I found it as a nice reminder.

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Worth sharing - wise thoughts indeed and should be posted in all schools and work places.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

• Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
  
  
• Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
  
  
• Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
  
  
• Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
  
  
• Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
  
  
• Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
  
  
• Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
  
  
• Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
  
  
• Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
  
  
• Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
  
  
• Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.

If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

Time To Laugh - Part 1 (English Version)

Teacher: Why are you late, Frank?

Frank: Because of the sign.
Teacher: What sign?
Frank: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'

***

Teacher: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
John: You told me to do it without using tables!

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Teacher: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
Glenn: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
Teacher: No, that's wrong
Glenn: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!

***

Teacher: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
Donald: H I J K L M N O!!
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Donald: Yesterday you said it's H to O!

***

Teacher: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Winnie: Me!

Teacher: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
Goss: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.

***

Teacher: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
Millie: I is...
Teacher: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
Millie: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'

***

Teacher: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
Tino: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.

***

Teacher: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
Louis: Because George still had the axe in his hand.

***

Teacher: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
Simon: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.

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Teacher: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
Clyde: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

***

Teacher: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
Harold: A teacher.

Time To Laugh - Part 1 (Tagalog Version)

Misis: Darling, ano ang tawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!

***

Tanong: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya nang hindi siya mababastos?
Sagot: 'Uhm, excuse me, miss...Mang Tomas ba ang lotion mo?'

***

Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?!

***

Nanay: Ano 'tong malaking zero sa test paper mo?
Anak : Hindi po 'yan zero, 'Nay. Naubusan lang ng star ang teacher ko kaya binigyan niya ako ng moon! Moon lang 'yan, 'Nay, promise!

***

Mga sikat na salawikain:

• Better late than pregnant.
• Kapag may tiyaga, good luck!
• Aanhin pa ang damo...kabayo ba ako?
• Do unto others, then, run! Run! Run!
• Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay lumaki sa ibang bansa.
• Ang lalaking nagigipit, sa bakla kumakapit.

***

Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala.
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'am, baka po sa kabilang section sya!

***

Paano humamon ng AWAY ang:

BULAG?
Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!

DULING?
Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!

PILAY?
Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!

***

Pedro: Pare balita ko bading ka daw. totoo ba?!
Ambo: Pare, Mga chismax lang 'yun galing sa mga chuvanes na walang magawa sa mga chenilyn nila.... chura nila! hmpf!

***

Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin
Girl: Bakit?!
Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
Boy: Yun nga eh...gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!


***

BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital): Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!

Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST partners:

Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!

***

American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino:
American: Use my name 4 times in a sentence!
Pedro: Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul.

***

Quote for the Day...
Ang Buhay ay parang bato... it is HARD!!!

***

Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short - a gentle death! Ang lalim! Grabe...! Dati Love is blind lang, eh!

***

Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?
Mister: Nabuntis natin si Inday, tayo ang ama!

***

Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo...dito lang ako... dito lang talaga ako...tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang pupunta dito! Baka madamay ako..

***

Prospective Employer to Applicant: ' So why did you leave your previous job?'
Applicant: ' The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'

***

Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Ha? eh di..... Baraha!

Why Did Jesus Fold The Linen Burial Cloth After His Resurrection?

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The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed over the face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes. Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!' Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see... The other disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it really significant? Yes!

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this
tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.

The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because.......... The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!

He is Coming Back!

Psalm 23 For The Work Place

(For The Work Place)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without
murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions
that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system
crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping
co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body
that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---
for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens
to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that.

I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

Someone Who Taught Me the Meaning of Perseverance and Love

You have probably seen this before but it is a touching story and worthy of the time to read again.

My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines , Iowa .. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel But he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

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Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear me play someday." But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons. I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing "Miss Hondorf I've just got to play!" he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer."

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. "Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? "Through the microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Hondorf Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning And well . . . She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special."

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy. Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.