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Thursday, January 21, 2010

Can you beat Isko?

Isko" is a Filipino nick name for Francisco.
A boy named Isko was very sad in his class.. The teacher asked, "Isko what is your problem?" Isko answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Isko to the principal's office.
While Isko waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of the questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.
She agreed. Isko was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal: "What is 3 x 3 ?"
Isko: "9".
Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"
Isko: "36"
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.
The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Isko can go to the third-grade." Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Isko both agreed.
Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of and that I have only two of?
Isko: After a moment, " Legs."
Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"
Isko: " Pockets "
Teacher: " What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Isko: Coconut
Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Isko was taking charge.
Isko: Bubblegum
Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...
Isko: Shake hands
Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, Okay?
Isko: Yep.
Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.
Isko: Tent
Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first..
The principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Jack Daniel peg.
Isko: Wedding Ring
Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.
Isko: Nose
Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.
Isko: Arrow
Teacher: What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K ' that means lot of heat and excitement?
Isko: Firetruck
Teacher: What starts with a ' F ' and ends in 'K ' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand.
Isko: Fork
Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It's longer on some men, than others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?
Isko: SURNAME
Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, likes pumping, and is responsible for making love?
Isko: HEART
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Teacher:
"Send this Boy to Harvard University !! Even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Ten Great Tips For 2010

1. Stay out of trouble...Ü


2. Aim for greater heights...Ü


3. Stay focused on your job...Ü


4. Exercise to maintain good health...Ü


5. Practice team work...Ü


6. Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others...Ü


7. Save for rainy days...Ü


8. Rest and relax...Ü


9. Always take time to smile...Ü


AND


10.. Realize that nothing is impossible... Ü



THE SENILITY PRAYER
Grant me the senility to forget the peopleI never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference.