Distorted Ideas

Make Someone Smile

2011-12-09T16:31:00.001+08:00

Ever have one of those days,

When something seems a bit "off"

But you just can't put your finger on it...

Or it seems like all the people around you are grouchy and just want to butt heads...

Or just, get into some kind Of weird tug of war?

Sometimes, you just need to take a fresh, new look and get a different perspective on things.

Remember, to try your best To show kindness to others...

cuz It just feels so good!

(Sometimes looking at things From their perspective Might help.....)

So, when life gets you down...

Remember to just keep going,

And keep your head above water..

And you'll get by,

with a little help from your friends!

Have a nice day.

Go Ahead, Make Someone SMILE!

A Very Special Story

2011-12-09T16:27:00.002+08:00

In Phoenix , Arizona , a 26-year-old mother stared down at her 6 year old son, who was dying of terminal leukemia. Although her heart was filled with sadness, she also had a strong feeling of determination. Like any parent, she wanted her son to grow up and fulfill all his dreams. Now that was no longer possible.

The leukemia would see to that. But she still wanted her son's dream to come true. She took her son's hand and asked, 'Billy, did you ever think about what you wanted to be once you grew up ?
Did you ever dream and wish what you would do with your life ?' Mommy, 'I always wanted to be a fireman when I grew up.'

Mom smiled back and said, 'Let's see if we can make your wish come true.' Later that day she went to her local fire Department in Phoenix, Arizona, where she met Fireman Bob, who had a heart as big as Phoenix. She explained her son's final wish and asked if it might be possible to give her 6 year-old son a ride around the block on a fire engine.

Fireman Bob said, 'Look, we can do better than that. If you'll have your son ready at seven o'clock Wednesday morning, we'll make him an honorary Fireman for the whole day. He can come down to the fire station, eat with us, go out on all the fire calls, the whole nine yards ! And if you'll give us his sizes, we'll get a real fire uniform for him, with a real fire hat - not a toy one with the emblem of the Phoenix Fire Department on it, a yellow slicker like we wear and rubber boots.' 'They're all manufactured right here in Phoenix , so we can get them fast.'

Three days later Fireman Bob picked up Billy, dressed him in his uniform and escorted him from his hospital bed to the waiting hook and ladder truck. Billy got to sit on the back of the truck and help steer it back to the fire station. He was in heaven.

There were three fire calls in Phoenix that day and Billy got to go out on all three calls. He rode in the different fire engines, the Paramedic's' van, and even the fire chief's car. He was also videotaped for the local news program. Having his dream come true, with all the love and attention that was lavished upon him, so deeply touched Billy, that he lived three months longer than any doctor thought possible. One night all of his vital signs began to drop dramatically and the head nurse, who believed in the hospice concept - that no one should die alone, began to call the family members to the hospital.

Then she remembered the day Billy had spent as a Fireman, so she called the Fire Chief and asked if it would be possible to send a fireman in uniform to the hospital to be with Billy as he made his transition..

The chief replied, 'We can do better than that. We'll be there in five minutes. Will you please do me a favor ?

When you hear the sirens screaming and see the lights flashing, will you announce over the PA system that there is not a fire? 'It's the department coming to see one of its finest members one more time. And will you open the window to his room?

About five minutes later a hook and ladder truck arrived at the hospital and extended its ladder up to Billy's third floor open window -------- 16 fire-fighters climbed up the ladder into Billy's room! With his mother's permission, they hugged him and held him and told him how much they LOVED him.

With his dying breath, Billy looked up at the fire chief and said, 'Chief, am I really a fireman now?' 'Billy, you are, and The Head Chief, Jesus, is holding your hand,' the chief said.
With those words, Billy smiled and said, 'I know, He's been holding my hand all day, and the angels have been singing.'

He closed his eyes one last time.

Dog Show

2010-10-31T09:27:00.006+08:00

A Story To Share

2010-10-31T09:24:00.000+08:00

At the prodding of my friends, I am writing this story. My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music teacher from Des Moines , Iowa .. I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call "musically challenged" pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother (a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson. I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I explained to Robby.

But Robby said that it had always been his mother's dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student. Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of tone and basic rhythm needed to excel But he dutifully reviewed his scales and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say, "My mom's going to hear me play someday." But it seemed hopeless. He just did not have any inborn ability. I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons. I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability, that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the upcoming recital.. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but he was still practicing "Miss Hondorf I've just got to play!" he insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through my "curtain closer."

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it. "Why didn't he dress up like the other students?" I thought. "Why didn't his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?"

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys, they even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo. From allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age. After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in joy. "I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it? "Through the microphone Robby explained: "Well Miss Hondorf Remember I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away this morning And well . . . She was born deaf so tonight was the first time she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special."

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care, noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy. Of Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.

Funny Pictures

2010-10-31T09:11:00.004+08:00

Jesus Is Coming Back

2010-09-15T13:49:00.000+08:00

In the public hospital of Itaguaí (RJ) last weekend was born a girl with hands joined together, like one who's praying. The doctors told the parents that they would operate the hands of that girl and that they would give her antistatic. The operation was easy because it seemed like the hands were simply glued together by one membrane (skin), layer apart. When they opened up the hands of the child, you can't imagine what was written...

'JESUS IS COMING BACK...'

The doctors started weeping and all that were in the hospital. The suburb of Itaguaí is undergoing a movement now, People that have withdrawn from church are going back and others are receiving Jesus Christ as the only savior. God sent that child simply to convey his message. After a few hours, she died. Mission accomplished.

The Lord of Lords is coming back.

'Seek the LORD while HE may be found, call upon Him while He is near:'
Isaiah 55:6

I Pray You Enough

2010-09-15T13:46:00.000+08:00

Recently, I overheard a mother and daughter in their last moments together at the airport. They had announced the departure. Standing near the security gate, they hugged, and the mother said, 'I love you, and I pray you enough.'

The daughter replied, 'Mom, our life together has been more than enough. Your love is all I ever needed. I pray you enough, too, Mom.'

They kissed, and the daughter left. The mother walked over to the window where I was seated. Standing there, I could see she wanted and needed to cry. I tried not to intrude on her privacy, but she welcomed me in by asking, 'Did you ever say good-bye to someone knowing it would be forever?'

Yes, I have,' I replied. 'Forgive me for asking, but why is this a forever good-bye?'

'Well...I'm not as young as I once was, she lives so far away & has her own busy life. I have some challenges ahead, and the reality is - her next trip back will be for my funeral,' she said.

'When you were saying good-bye, I heard you say, 'I pray you enough.' May I ask what that means?'

She began to smile.. 'That's a prayer that has been handed down from other generations. My parents used to say it to everyone.' She paused a moment and looked up as if trying to remember it in detail, and she smiled even more. 'When we said, 'I pray you enough,' we wanted the other person to have a life filled with just enough good things to sustain them.'

Then, turning toward me, she shared the following as if she were reciting it from memory.

I pray you enough sun to keep your attitude bright no matter how gray the day may appear.

I pray you enough rain to appreciate the sun even more.

I pray you enough happiness to keep your spirit alive and everlasting.

I pray you enough pain so that even the smallest of joys in life may appear bigger.

I pray you enough gain to satisfy your wanting.

I pray you enough loss to appreciate all that you possess.

I pray you enough hellos to get you through the final good-bye.

Then, she began to cry, and walked away.

They say, it takes a minute to find a special person, an hour to appreciate them, a day to love them, but an entire life to forget them.

To all my loved ones family and friends

I PRAY YOU ENOUGH......

Worth Reading Ü

2010-08-02T00:22:00.001+08:00

You have probably seen this before but it is a touching story and worthy
of the time to read again.

My name is Mildred Hondorf. I am a former elementary school music
teacher from Des Moines , Iowa .

I've always supplemented my income by teaching piano lessons-something
I've done for over 30 years. Over the years I found that children have many
levels of musical ability. I've never had the pleasure of having a prodigy
though I have taught some talented students.

However I've also had my share of what I call 'musically challenged'
pupils. One such student was Robby. Robby was 11 years old when his mother
(a single Mom) dropped him off for his first piano lesson.

I prefer that students (especially boys!) begin at an earlier age, which I
explained to Robby. But Robby said that it had always been his mother's
dream to hear him play the piano. So I took him as a student.

Well, Robby began with his piano lessons and from the beginning I thought
it was a hopeless endeavor. As much as Robby tried, he lacked the sense of
tone and basic rhythm needed to excel. But he dutifully reviewed his scales
and some elementary pieces that I require all my students to learn.

Over the months he tried and tried while I listened and cringed and tried
to encourage him. At the end of each weekly lesson he'd always say 'My
mom's going to hear me play someday.' But it seemed hopeless. He just did
not have any inborn ability.

I only knew his mother from a distance as she dropped Robby off or waited
in her aged car to pick him up. She always waved and smiled but never
stopped in.

Then one day Robby stopped coming to our lessons.
I thought about calling him but assumed because of his lack of ability,
that he had decided to pursue something else. I also was glad that he
stopped coming. He was a bad advertisement for my teaching!

Several weeks later I mailed to the student's homes a flyer on the
upcoming recital. To my surprise Robby (who received a flyer) asked me if
he could be in the recital. I told him that the recital was for current
pupils and because he had dropped out he really did not qualify. He said
that his mother had been sick and unable to take him to piano lessons but
he was still practicing. 'Miss Hondorf, I've just got to play!' he
insisted.

I don't know what led me to allow him to play in the recital. Maybe it was
his persistence or maybe it was something inside of me saying that it would
be all right. The night for the recital came. The high school gymnasium was
packed with parents, friends and relatives. I put Robby up last in the
program before I was to come up and thank all the students and play a
finishing piece. I thought that any damage he would do would come at the
end of the program and I could always salvage his poor performance through
my 'curtain closer'.

Well, the recital went off without a hitch. The students had been
practicing and it showed. Then Robby came up on stage. His clothes were
wrinkled and his hair looked like he'd run an eggbeater through it.

'Why didn't he dress up like the other students?' I thought. 'Why didn't
his mother at least make him comb his hair for this special night?'

Robby pulled out the piano bench and he began. I was surprised when he
announced that he had chosen Mozart's Concerto #21 in C Major. I was not
prepared for what I heard next. His fingers were light on the keys; they
even danced nimbly on the ivories. He went from pianissimo to fortissimo,
from allegro to virtuoso. His suspended chords that Mozart demands were
magnificent! Never had I heard Mozart played so well by people his age.

After six and a half minutes he ended in a grand crescendo and everyone
was on their feet in wild applause.

Overcome and in tears I ran up on stage and put my arms around Robby in
joy. 'I've never heard you play like that Robby! How'd you do it?'

Through the microphone Robby explained: 'well Miss Hondorf . . . Remember
I told you my Mom was sick? Well, actually she had cancer and passed away
this morning. And well . . She was born deaf so tonight was the first time
she ever heard me play. I wanted to make it special.'

There wasn't a dry eye in the house that evening. As the people from
Social Services led Robby from the stage to be placed into foster care,
noticed that even their eyes were red and puffy and I thought to myself how
much richer my life had been for taking Robby as my pupil.

No, I've never had a prodigy but that night I became a prodigy, of
Robby's. He was the teacher and I was the pupil for it is he that taught me
the meaning of perseverance and love and believing in yourself and maybe
even taking a chance in someone and you don't know why.

Robby was killed in the senseless bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal
Building in Oklahoma City in April of 1995.

How To Stay Young And Happy Always

2010-04-22T20:21:00.000+08:00

1. Throw out nonessential numbers.
This includes age, weight, and height.

Let the doctors worry about them.. That is why you pay them.

2. Keep only cheerful friends.
The grouches pull you down.
(Keep this in mind if you are one of those grouches!)

3. Keep learning:
Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening, whatever.
Never let the brain get idle.
'An idle mind is the devil's workshop.'
And the devil's name is Alzheimer's!

4. Enjoy the simple things

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.
And if you have a friend who makes you laugh, spend lots and lots of time with him or her!

6. The tears happen:
Endure, grieve, and move on.
The only person who is with us our entire life, is ourself.
LIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love:
Whether it's family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever.
Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health:
If it is good, preserve it.
If it is unstable, improve it.
If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9. Don't take guilt trips.
Take a trip to the mall, even to a foreign country, but NOT to where the guilt is

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

And if you don't send this to at least four people - who cares?
But do share this with someone.

How To Stay Young And Happy Always

A Short Neurological Test

2010-04-22T20:15:00.002+08:00

1- Find the C below.. Please do not use any cursor help.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOO

2- If you already found the C, now find the 6 below.

9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
6999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999
9999999999999999999 9999999999999999 999999999999

3 - Now find the N below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMNMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM MMMMMMMMMMMM

This is NOT a joke. If you were able to pass these 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.

Your brain is great and you're far from having a close relationship with Alzheimer.

Congratulations!
Oh. One more test....

Find the 44 th USA President.

Well, congratulations, you're not colour blind either!

Why Did Jesus Fold The Linen Burial Cloth After His Resurrection?

2010-04-22T20:09:00.004+08:00

Why did Jesus fold the linen burial cloth after His resurrection? I nevernoticed this....

The Gospel of John (20:7) tells us that the napkin, which was placed overthe face of Jesus, was not just thrown aside like the grave clothes. The Bible takes an entire verse to tell us that the napkin was neatly
folded, and was placed separate from the grave clothes. Early Sunday morning, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and found that the stone had been rolled away from the entrance.

She ran and found Simon Peter and the other disciple, the one whom Jesus loved. She said, 'They have taken the Lord's body out of the tomb, and I don't know where they have put him!' Peter and the other disciple ran to the tomb to see... The other disciple outran Peter and got there first. He stooped and looked in and saw the linen cloth lying there, but he didn't go in. Then Simon Peter arrived and went inside. He also noticed the linen wrappings lying there, while the cloth that had covered Jesus' head was folded up and lying to the side.

Was that important? Absolutely!

Is it really significant? Yes!

In order to understand the significance of the folded napkin, you have to understand a little bit about Hebrew tradition of that day. The folded napkin had to do with the Master and Servant, and every Jewish boy knew this
tradition.

When the servant set the dinner table for the master, he made sure that it was exactly the way the master wanted it.

The table was furnished perfectly, and then the servant would wait, just out of sight, until the master had finished eating, and the servant would not dare touch that table, until the master was finished.

Now if the master were done eating, he would rise from the table, wipe his fingers, his mouth, and clean his beard, and would wad up that napkin and toss it onto the table. The servant would then know to clear the table. For in those days, the wadded napkin meant, 'I'm done'.

But if the master got up from the table, and folded his napkin, and laid it beside his plate, the servant would not dare touch the table, because.......... The folded napkin meant, 'I'm coming back!

He is Coming Back!

Chinese Names

2010-04-22T20:08:00.001+08:00

RECENTLY REGISTERED CHINESE BABY NAMES BORN IN THE PHILIPPINES:

Born during the night = Andy Lim
Born blind = Kenneth Sy
Born as 10th child = Sam Po
Born secretly = Tina Go
Born different = Eva Yan
Born on Sunday = Lyn Go
Born Normal = Nath Ting Wong
Born Abnormal = Sam Ting Wong
Born fat = Bob Uy
Born little = Kathy Ting
Born with sweets = Ken Dy
Born with porridge = Lino Gaw
Born being swindled = Lino Co
Born ugly = Kaw Yan

TRIANGLE OF LIFE

2010-03-27T14:46:00.002+08:00

EXTRACT FROM DOUG COPP'S ARTICLE ON THE: "TRIANGLE OF LIFE"

My name is Doug Copp. I am the Rescue Chief and Disaster Manager of theAmerican Rescue Team International (ARTI), the world's most experiencedrescue team. The information in this article will save lives in anearthquake.

I have crawled inside 875 collapsed buildings, worked with rescue teamsfrom 60 countries, founded rescue teams in several countries, and I am amember of many rescue teams from many countries...

I was the United Nations expert in Disaster Mitigation for two years. Ihave worked at every major disaster in the world since 1985, except forsimultaneous disasters.

The first building I ever crawled inside of was a school in Mexico Cityduring the 1985 earthquake. Every child was under its desk. Every child wascrushed to the thickness of their bones. They could have survived by lyingdown next to their desks in the aisles. It was obscene, unnecessary and Iwondered why the children were not in the aisles. I didn't at the time knowthat the children were told to hide under something.

Simply stated, when buildings collapse, the weight of the ceilings fallingupon the objects or furniture inside crushes these objects, leaving a spaceor void next to them. This space is what I call the "triangle of life".The larger the object, the stronger, the less it will compact. The less theobject compacts, the larger the void, the greater the probability that theperson who is using this void for safety will not be injured. The next timeyou watch collapsed buildings, on television, count the "triangles" you seeformed. They are everywhere. It is the most common shape, you will see, ina collapsed building.

TIPS FOR EARTHQUAKE SAFETY

1) Most everyone who simply "ducks and covers" WHEN BUILDINGS COLLAPSE arecrushed to death. People who get under objects, like desks or cars, arecrushed.

2) Cats, dogs and babies often naturally curl up in the fetal position. Youshould too in an earthquake... It is a natural safety/survival instinct.You can survive in a smaller void. Get next to an object, next to a sofa,next to a large bulky object that will compress slightly but leave a voidnext to it.

3) Wooden buildings are the safest type of construction to be in during anearthquake. Wood is flexible and moves with the force of the earthquake.If the wooden building does collapse, large survival voids are created.Also, the wooden building has less concentrated, crushing weight. Brickbuildings will break into individual bricks. Bricks will cause manyinjuries but less squashed bodies than concrete slabs.

4) If you are in bed during the night and an earthquake occurs, simply rolloff the bed. A safe void will exist around the bed. Hotels can achieve amuch greater survival rate in earthquakes, simply by posting a sign on Theback of the door of every room telling occupants to lie down on the floor,next to the bottom of the bed during an earthquake.

5) If an earthquake happens and you cannot easily escape by getting out thedoor or window, then lie down and curl up in the fetal position next to asofa, or large chair.

6) Most everyone who gets under a doorway when buildings collapse iskilled. How? If you stand under a doorway and the doorjamb falls forward orbackward you will be crushed by the ceiling above. If the door jam fallssideways you will be cut in half by the doorway. In either case, you willbe killed!

7) Never go to the stairs. The stairs have a different "moment offrequency" (they swing separately from the main part of the building). Thestairs and remainder of the building continuously bump into each otheruntil structural failure of the stairs takes place. The people who get onstairs before they fail are chopped up by the stair treads - horriblymutilated. Even if the building doesn't collapse, stay away from thestairs. The stairs are a likely part of the building to be damaged. Even ifthe stairs are not collapsed by the earthquake, they may collapse laterwhen overloaded by fleeing people.. They should always be checked forsafety, even when the rest of the building is not damaged.

8) Get Near the Outer Walls Of Buildings Or Outside Of Them If Possible -It is much better to be near the outside of the building rather than theinterior. The farther inside you are from the outside perimeter of thebuilding the greater the probability that your escape route will beblocked.

9) People inside of their vehicles are crushed when the road above falls inan earthquake and crushes their vehicles; which is exactly what happenedwith the slabs between the decks of the Nimitz Freeway... The victims ofthe San Francisco earthquake all stayed inside of their vehicles. They wereall killed.. They could have easily survived by getting out and sitting orlying next to their vehicles. Everyone killed would have survived if theyhad been able to get out of their cars and sit or lie next to them. All thecrushed cars had voids 3 feet high next to them, except for the cars thathad columns fall directly across them.

10) I discovered, while crawling inside of collapsed newspaper offices andother offices with a lot of paper, that paper does not compact. Largevoids are found surrounding stacks of paper.

Praise Be To God In The Highest

2010-03-08T17:20:00.003+08:00

A man woke up early in order to have his morning devotion (prayer) in the Lord's house (church). He got dressed, set on his way to the Lord's house.

On his way to the church, the man fell and his clothes got dirty. He got up, brushed himself up, and headed home..

At home, he changed his clothes, and was, again, on his way to the Lord's house. On his way to the church, he fell again and at the same spot! He, again, got up, brushed himself off and headed home. At home he, once again, changed his clothes and was on his way to the Lord's house.

On his way to the church, he met a man holding a lamp. He asked the man of his identity and the man replied: 'I saw you fall twice on your way to the church, so I brought a lamp so I can light your way.

The first man thanked him profusely and the two went on their way to the church. Once at the church, the first man asked the man with the lamp to come in and pray with him. The second man refused. The first man asked him a couple more times and, again, the answer was the same. The first man asked him why he did not wish to come in and pray.

The man replied, 'I am Satan'. The man was shocked at this reply. Satan went on to explain, 'I saw you on your way to the Church and it was I who made you fall. When you went home, cleaned yourself and went back on our way to the church, God forgave all of your sins. I made you fall a second time, and even that did not encourage you to stay home, but rather, you went back on your way to Church. Because of that, God forgave all the sins of the people of your household. I was afraid if I made you fall one more time, then God will forgive the sins of the people of your village, so I made sure that you reached the house of God (Church) safely.'

Do not put off the good you intended to do as you never know how much reward you might receive from the hardships you encounter while trying to achieve that good. For your righteousness can save your family and nation at large.

Do this and see the victory of the Lord.

Earthquake in Chile: May Have Shortened Days On Earth?

2010-03-03T08:52:00.002+08:00

The massive 8.8 earthquake that struck Chile may have changed the entire Earth's rotation and shortened the length of days on our planet, a NASA scientist said Monday.

The quake, the seventh strongest earthquake in recorded history, hit Chile Saturday and should have shortened the length of an Earth day by 1.26 milliseconds, according to research scientist Richard Gross at NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena, Calif.

"Perhaps more impressive is how much the quake shifted Earth's axis," NASA officials said in a Monday update.

The computer model used by Gross and his colleagues to determine the effects of the Chile earthquake effect also found that it should have moved Earth's figure axis by about 3 inches (8 cm or 27 milliarcseconds).

The Earth's figure axis is not the same as its north-south axis, which it spins around once every day at a speed of about 1,000 mph (1,604 kph).

The figure axis is the axis around which the Earth's mass is balanced. It is offset from the Earth's north-south axis by about 33 feet (10 meters).

Strong earthquakes have altered Earth's days and its axis in the past. The 9.1 Sumatran earthquake in 2004, which set off a deadly tsunami, should have shortened Earth's days by 6.8 microseconds and shifted its axis by about 2.76 inches (7 cm, or 2.32 milliarcseconds).

One Earth day is about 24 hours long. Over the course of a year, the length of a day normally changes gradually by one millisecond. It increases in the winter, when the Earth rotates more slowly, and decreases in the summer, Gross has said in the past.

The Chile earthquake was much smaller than the Sumatran temblor, but its effects on the Earth are larger because of its location. Its epicenter was located in the Earth's mid-latitudes rather than near the equator like the Sumatran event.

The fault responsible for the 2010 Chile quake also slices through Earth at a steeper angle than the Sumatran quake's fault, NASA scientists said.

"This makes the Chile fault more effective in moving Earth's mass vertically and hence more effective in shifting Earth's figure axis," NASA officials said.

Gross said his findings are based on early data available on the Chile earthquake. As more information about its characteristics are revealed, his prediction of its effects will likely change.
The Chile earthquake has killed more than 700 people and caused widespread devastation in the South American country.

Several major telescopes in Chile's Atacama Desert have escaped damage, according to the European Southern Observatory managing them.

A salt-measuring NASA satellite instrument destined to be installed on an Argentinean satellite was also undamaged in the earthquake, JPL officials said.

The Aquarius instrument was in the city of Bariloche, Argentina, where it is being installed in the Satelite de Aplicaciones Cientificas (SAC-D) satellite. The satellite integration facility is about 365 miles (588 km) from the Chile quake's epicenter.

The Aquarius instrument is designed to provide monthly global maps of the ocean's salt concentration in order to track current circulation and its role in climate change.

Can you beat Isko?

2010-01-21T09:44:00.002+08:00

Isko" is a Filipino nick name for Francisco.

A boy named Isko was very sad in his class.. The teacher asked, "Isko what is your problem?" Isko answered, "I'm too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third grade and I'm smarter than she is. I think I should be in the third-grade too!" The teacher had enough. She took Isko to the principal's office.

While Isko waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told the teacher he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of the questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

She agreed. Isko was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.

Principal: "What is 3 x 3 ?"

Isko: "9".

Principal: "What is 6 x 6 ?"

Isko: "36"

And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade should know.

The principal looks at the teacher and tells her, "I think Isko can go to the third-grade." Teacher says to the principal, "I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him?" The principal and Isko both agreed.

Teacher asks, "What does a cow have four of and that I have only two of?

Isko: After a moment, " Legs."

Teacher: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?"

Isko: " Pockets "

Teacher: " What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?

Isko: Coconut

Teacher: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Isko was taking charge.

Isko: Bubblegum

Teacher: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?

The principal's eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer...

Isko: Shake hands

Teacher: Now I will ask some "Who am I" sort of questions, Okay?

Isko: Yep.

Teacher: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get me up. I get wet before you do.

Isko: Tent

Teacher: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first..

The principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Jack Daniel peg.

Isko: Wedding Ring

Teacher: I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good.

Isko: Nose

Teacher: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates. I come with a quiver.

Isko: Arrow

Teacher: What word starts with a ' F ' and ends in ' K ' that means lot of heat and excitement?

Isko: Firetruck

Teacher: What starts with a ' F ' and ends in 'K ' and if you don't get it, you have to use your hand.

Isko: Fork

Teacher: What is it that all men have one. It's longer on some men, than others, the pope doesn't use his and a man gives it to his wife after they're married?

Isko: SURNAME

Teacher: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, likes pumping, and is responsible for making love?

Isko: HEART

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the Teacher:

"Send this Boy to Harvard University !! Even I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Ten Great Tips For 2010

2010-01-05T09:48:00.007+08:00

1. Stay out of trouble...Ü

2. Aim for greater heights...Ü

3. Stay focused on your job...Ü

4. Exercise to maintain good health...Ü

5. Practice team work...Ü

6. Rely on your trusted partner to watch your back. Take your time trusting others...Ü

7. Save for rainy days...Ü

8. Rest and relax...Ü

9. Always take time to smile...Ü

AND

10.. Realize that nothing is impossible... Ü

THE SENILITY PRAYER

Grant me the senility to forget the peopleI never liked anyway, The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and The eyesight to tell the difference.

When A Thief Forces You To Withdraw From Your ATM

2009-12-31T17:15:00.000+08:00

When a thief forces you to take money from the ATM, do not argue or resist. You might not know what he or she might do to you. What you should do is to punch your PIN in the reverse mode. I.e. if your PIN # is 1254, you punch 4521.The moment you punch in the reverse mode, the money will come out, but will be stuck into the machine half way out and it will alert the Police (security) without the notice of the thief. Every ATM has it; it is specially made to signify danger and help. Not everyone is aware of this.

Forward this to all your loved ones, friends and those you care about.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

2009-12-19T13:35:00.004+08:00

NICKNAMES:
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Psalm 23

2009-09-03T23:20:00.000+08:00

(For The Work Place)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without
murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions
that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system
crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping
co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body
that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---
for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens
to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

The Ant and The Contact Lens

2009-08-17T19:17:00.004+08:00

This is A True Story

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens . 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.'

She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'

She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.'

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing.. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'

I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy.. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called..

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him... I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.. (Phil. 4:13)

This is a simple test.. If you love GOD and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you.

This Should Be Posted In Schools and Work Places

2009-08-16T11:18:00.001+08:00

This has been around before, but I found it a nice reminder.

Worth sharing - wise thoughts indeed

This should be posted in all schools and work places.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

Truth About Red Bull

2009-08-16T10:50:00.001+08:00

IT IS ADVISED NOT TO CONSUME THIS DRINK. IT IS A VERY DANGEROUS DRINK!

As a public health safety, please pass on this email to all the contacts in your address book especially those with teenage children.and make copies to show to all the people you know.

This drink is SOLD in all the supermarkets IN OUR country. and our children ARE CONSUMING IT ON A TRIAL BASIS. IT can be mortal..

RED BULL was created to stimulate the brains in people who are subjected to great physical force and in "stress coma" and never to be consumed like an innocent drink or soda pop. RED BULL IS the energizer DRINK that is commercialized world-wide with its slogan:

It increases endurance; awakens the concentration capacity and the speed of reaction, offers more energy and improves the mood.. All this can be found in a can of RED BULL, the power drink of the millennium.!

Red Bull has managed to arrive at almost 100 countries worldwide. The RED BULL logo is targeted at young people and sportsmen, two attractive segments that have been captivated by the stimulus that the drink provides..

It was created by Dietrich Mateschitz, an industrialist of Austrian origin who discovered the drink by chance. It happened during a business trip to Hong Kong , when he was working at a factory that manufactured toothbrushes.

The liquid, based on a formula that contained caffeine and taurine, caused a rage in that country. Imagine the grand success of this drink in Europe where the product still did not exist, besides it was a superb opportunity to become an entrepreneur.

BUT THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS DRINK IS ANOTHER THING:

FRANCE and DENMARK have just prohibited it as a cocktail of death, due to its vitamin components mixed with GLUCURONOLACTONE' , a highly dangerous chemical, which was developed by the United States Department of Defense during 60 years to stimulate the moral of the troops based in VIETNAM , which acted like a hallucinogenic drug that calmed the stress of the war..

But their effects in the organism were so devastating, that it was discontinued, because of the high index of cases of migraines, cerebral tumors and diseases of the liver that was evident in the soldiers who consumed it.

And in spite of it, in the can of RED BULL you can still find as one of its components: GLUCURONOLACTONE, categorized medically as a stimulant.

But what it does not say on the can of RED BULL, are the consequences of its consumption, and that has forced us to place a series of WARNINGS:

1. It is dangerous to take it if you do not engage in physical exercise afterwards, since its energizing function accelerates the heart rate and can cause a sudden attack.
2. You run the risk of undergoing a cerebral hemorrhage, because RED BULL contains components that dilute the blood so that the heart utilizes less energy to pump the blood, and thus be able to deliver physical force with less effort being exerted.
3.. It is prohibited to mix RED BULL with alcohol, because the mixture turns the drink into a "Deadly Bomb" that attacks the liver directly, causing the affected area never to regenerate anymore.
4. One of the main components of RED BULL is the B12 vitamin, used in medicine to recover patients who are in a coma; from here the hypertension and the state of excitement which is experienced after taking it, as if you were in a drunken state.
5. The regular consumption of RED BULL triggers off symptoms in the form of a series of irreversible nervous and neuronal diseases.

CONCLUSION: It is a drink that should be prohibited in the countries of the Caribbean and Latin America , (and the entire world) as it is already waking up other nations because when it is mixed with alcohol it creates a time bomb for the human body, mainly between innocent adolescents and adults with little experience.

Be Aware Of This....

2009-06-21T11:33:00.000+08:00

Please Inform all your Female Friends !!!!!

A woman at a bar on a Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who, according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes, along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood and Progesterex, essentially a small sterilization pill.

The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug.

As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't get pregnant; she won't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.

The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They areP*E*R*M*A* N* E*N*T!!! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses.. Any female who takes it will NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE... The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.

It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.

Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended..

Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives!

Beware of this New Scheme

2009-05-06T19:21:00.002+08:00

THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE --- NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.

When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly DO NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Banana Test

2009-05-06T01:04:00.004+08:00

There was a very, very tall coconut tree and there were 4 animals,

a Lion,

a Chimpanzee,

a Giraffe,

and a Squirrel, who passed by.

They decided to compete to see who would be fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

========================================

If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.

Chimpanzee = you're a moron.

Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

WHY???

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax!
Try again this year.

Apologize by Timbaland

2008-12-21T22:29:00.003+08:00

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make you sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say..

That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

I’d take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But it's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
Woahooo woah

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

One of my favorite songs... Ü

Sincere Apologies

2008-11-23T10:43:00.001+08:00

Sincere Apologies To Everyone,

Over the past months I have forwarded funny pictures and jokes to
friends who I thought shared the same sense of humour.

Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem to have upset quite a few
people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow. If you were one
of these people, please accept my humblest apologies.

From now on I will only send emails with a cultural or educational
content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting structures.

Attached, you'll find a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris .

For those of you who are interested,Pont Neuf is the oldest bridge in
Paris and took 26 years to build. Construction began in 1578 and ended
in 1604. 'Le Pont Neuf' is actually made of 2 independent bridges, one
with seven arches and the other with five arches.

Fascinating...

Joke Time (Part 5)

2008-09-08T20:38:00.001+08:00

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
***
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
***
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
***
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
***
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
***
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
***
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
***
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
***
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
***
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
***
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
***
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

How The Beijing Olympic Logo Was Created

2008-09-07T14:13:00.004+08:00

Best Wishes

2008-09-07T13:55:00.001+08:00

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

Joke Time (Part 4)

2008-09-07T13:52:00.000+08:00

Misis : Darling, ano ang tawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!

***
TANONG: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya nang hindi siya mababastos?
SAGOT: 'Uhm, excuse me, miss...Mang Tomas ba ang lotion mo?' <>

***
Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?!

***
Nanay: Ano 'tong malaking zero sa test paper mo?
Anak : Hindi po 'yan zero, 'Nay. Naubusan lang ng star ang teacher ko kaya binigyan niya ako ng moon! Moon lang 'yan, 'Nay, promise!

***
Mga sikat na salawikain:
Better late than pregnant.
Kapag may tiyaga, good luck!
Aanhin pa ang damo...kabayo ba ako?
Do unto others, then, run! Run! Run!
Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay lumaki sa ibang bansa.
Ang lalaking nagigipit, sa bakla kumakapit.

***
Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang section sya!

***
Paano humamon ng AWAY ang ...
BULAG?
Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!
DULING?
Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!
PILAY?
Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!

***
Pedro: Pare balita ko bading ka daw. totoo ba?!
Ambo: Pare, Mga chismax lang 'yun galing sa mga chuvanes na walang magawa sa mga chenilyn nila.... chura nila! hmpf!

***
Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin
Girl: Bakit?!
Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
Boy: Yun nga eh...gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!

***
BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital): Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!

***
Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST partners :
Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!

***
American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino:
American: Use my name 4 times in a sentence!
Pedro: Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul.

***
Quote for the Day...
Ang Buhay ay parang bato... it is HARD !!
***
Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short - a gentle death! Ang lalim! Grabe...! Dati Love is blind lang, eh!
***
Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?
Mister: Nabuntis natin si Inday, tayo ang ama!

***
Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo...dito lang ako... dito lang talaga ako...tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang pupunta dito! Baka madamay ako..

***
Prospective Employer to Applicant: ' So why did you leave your previous job?'
Applicant: ' The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'

***
Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Ha, eh di, ..... Baraha.

A Mouse Fable

2008-07-10T14:51:00.003+08:00

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package... "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it. "

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose.But wish you well; be assured you are in my prayers "So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap-- alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.

In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.

So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, Remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend.

Friend!!! Thanks for this... I luv yah!!!haha
Please visit this blog also: A Heart Out

Some Quotes

2008-07-09T11:03:00.003+08:00

In a kindergarten class, a little girl asked:
Girl: Ma’am, do 40 years old girls get pregnant?
Teacher: Yes!
Girl: How about 20?
Teacher: Yes dear!
Girl: A 5 years old?
Teacher: No!
(A little boy whispered to the girl)
Boy: See? I told you not to worry.

-----o-----

Be Optimistic…
All the people you hate are going to die eventually…
You just have to wait patiently…

-----o-----

Hurt a true heart as many times as you want.
Still, it won’t stop loving you.
But try to cheat a true heart.
It won’t hurt or hate you back.
It will only not dare to love you again…

-----o-----

Bruno: Ano na sa papel mo pre?
Pedro: Listahan sang mga hadlok sakon ah.
Bruno: Palantaw beh… Oh, ngaa ari di ngalan ko aw?
Pedro: Ngaa aw? Mabato ka sakon?
Bruno: Oo eh!!!
Pedro: Ahh… Ti erison ko nalang eh… Wala problema ah…

-----o-----

By the time you realize…
What your parents said was right…
You already have kids…
Who begins to think that you are wrong…

-----o-----

Time is the most playful element because…
It lengthens the minutes when you are waiting.
And rushes the hours when you enjoy the moments.

-----o-----

Lalaki: Kuhaon ko ang bituon kag ihatag sa imo.
Babae: Hipos ka da gani ah. Hindi mo gani makuha pung-it mo, bituon pa!
Lalaki: Ay sorry gid. Wala ko kabalo na pung-it gle gusto mo.

-----o-----

Define AGONY:
It’s like a one armed man…
Hanging at the edge of a cliff…
By his only arm with his balls…
Devastatingly ITCHY…
Define DOOM:
He scratched it…

-----o-----

The biggest blessing in our lives,
Is simply the presence of
People who care so much,
Whose love is for real,
And see us much beyond ourselves.

-----o-----

Sometimes, we dream of having someone we really like.
But life is not like that.
We don’t get everything we want.
But in the end,
We end up having someone better that we dream.

-----o-----

They say:
If love becomes painful…
Its time to let go and save yourself.
But, if love is true…
Pain is never a reason to let go.

-----o-----

You are one of those whom I never asked from God.
But still he gave you to me.
I asked him why and He said…
“Coz I know this person can feel your life,”
“In ways others can’t.”

-----o-----

Junior: Tay, nasugatan po ako.
Tatay: Talagang matapang anak ko.Hindi marunong umiyak!
Junior: Syempre nmn po itay!
Sabi nga po ni Fergie…
“Big girls don’t cry… Lalalala”

-----o-----

Sa isang tindahan:
Bata: May load kayo ate?
Tindera: Meron!
Bata: Patext nmn…

-----o-----

A lawyer driving on a hi-way
Notices a crowd in an intersection
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action
He shouted: “I am the son of the victim!!!”
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There, he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people.
A PIG bumped by a trailer truck.

-----o-----

When I was in Grade 1,
My teacher told me to write down
What I wanted to be when I grow up.
I wrote down, “Happy”.
She told me that I did not understand the assignment.
I answered, “You did not understand life!”
Nosebleed yung teacher ko …Grade 1 palang ako noon…

-----o-----

If there is one lesson we, young adults, ought to learn
It should be Maturity…
Maturity to understand that life is unfair
And, maturity not to make things worse.
Maturity to realize that there are things that we can’t change
And, maturity to accept them gracefully.
Maturity in loving
And, maturity to be never bitter if things don’t work out.

-----o-----

Teacher: Pedro! 1+3?
Pedro: 4, Ma’am.
Teacher: Very good! Ikaw Juan, 3+1?
Juan: Mau na!!! kung suli na gani, ako dayun tuksuon.
Pabor-pabor ba!!! Abseni nalang ko da ah!

-----o-----

Minsan, nagtatalo ang mga saging kung sino yung pinakamasarap.
Sabi ni Latundan: “Small but sweet ako!”
Sabi naman ni Lakatan: “Big and sweeter ako no!”
Nalungkot si Saba kasi hindi sya sweet, kailangan pa niya mailuto at iba pa.
Kaya nag walk out sya at nakasalubong nya si brown sugar.
Ikinuwento nya ang nangyari.
Tumawa si brown sugar at sinabi kay Saba:
“It doesn’t matter how sweet you are”
“What matters most is how you make other special because of you”
“And you made me special”…
The Legend of Banana Q… Very inspiring no?

-----o-----

Kung pinagsasalitaan ka ng masakit ng friend mo.
Huwag kang magalit.
Sabi nga ni Donkey kay Shrek:
“Only true friends will be Cruelly Honest with you”

-----o-----

You won’t fully enjoy a swing,
Unless you raise your feet from the ground.
You won’t fully enjoy a boat ride,
Unless you remove the rope from the riverbank.
Your dog won’t fully enjoy its dog life,
Unless you remove the chain from its neck.
Lesson?
Never limit yourself when it comes to happiness.
Learn to let go and move on.
Remember that being happy is a choice.
Don’t let anything hold you back from being yourself.

-----o-----

Pulube sa Bakery:
Pulube: Pwede maka henge ng cake?
Tindera: Ambisyuso! Eto pandesal!!!
Pulube: Heller!!! Birthday ko kaya!

-----o-----

If people have to leave us in one way or another.
It would be best if they will do it 100% lie-free
And just slap the truth in our faces.
We all do deserve something better than just
Lame excuses because Lies in all sort
Make us appear stupid!

-----o-----

When you have done something wrong
Admit it and be sorry.
No one has ever been choked to death
From swallowing his pride.

-----o-----

Anak: Ma, may white hair ka na pala?
Mama: Oo anak and you are the reason.
Every stupidity ng anak puputi ang every hair ng Ina.
Anak: Ahhhh…Kaya pala si lola, puti na lahat buhok nya…

-----o-----

A good friend will never let there friends do stupid things…
ALONE!

-----o-----

Waiting for someone may not be a good idea after all…
Stealing them might be a better solution…

-----o-----

One day, a blind boy was sitting and waiting for someone to drop a coin so he can buy food. He had a blackboard beside him written, “I am Blind, please feel pity.” Suddenly, a man approached him and dropped a coin and erased what was written on the board. The boy realized it but ignored it. Later, he heard a lot of coins were being dropped in his can. After an hour, the man came back and asked how he was doing. The boy replied, “My can is full of coins. What did you write on my board?” The man read it and it said, “Today is a beautiful day. Too bad I can’t see it.”

-----o-----

Kinuha ng Kanong Pari si Erap as an Interpreter.
Pari: The Lord was crucified between two robbers.
Erap: Si Hesus ipinako sa gitna ng dalawang goma.
Pari: We need to sacrifice.
Erap: Kailangan natin ng dalawang sakong bigas.
Pari: If we do not repent.
Erap: Kapag hindi natin pipinturahan uli.
Pari: The wrath of God will come upon you.
Erap: Ang daga ng Diyos ay pupunta sayo.
(Nagtawanan)
Pari: Well…well…
Erap: Balon… balon…

Eight Lies Of A Mother

2008-05-13T11:42:00.003+08:00

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.'
That was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; my heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.'
That was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, 'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.'
That was Mother's Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said 'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying 'I don't need love.'
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough money.'
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm not used to high living.'
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain.'
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died. Yes, mother was an angel!
M - O - T - H - E - R
'M' is for the Million things she gave me,
'O' means only that she's growing old,
'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,
'H' is for her Heart of gold,
'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,

Put them all together, they spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me. For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

Awww... Cool story... Happy Mother's Day to all mom out there... Ey guys, if you want to share some stories... Feel free to express yourself... God Bless Yah All

How To Forward E-mail Appropriately

2008-05-13T11:21:00.002+08:00

Ey guys... I received this one from a friend of mine... I find the information very useful, so I would like to share this to all of you...

Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50% DO NOT.
Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail? Do you hate it?

Every time you forward an e-mail there is information left over from the people who got the message before you, namely their e-mail addresses & names. As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds, and all it takes is for some poor sap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every e-mail address that has come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each hit.

That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel!

How do you stop it? Well, there are several easy steps:

(1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE them. Highlight them and delete them, backspace them, cut them, whatever it is you know how to do. It only takes a second You MUST click the "Forward" button first and then you will have full editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit the message at all.

(2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, do NOT use the To: or Cc: fields for adding e-mail addresses. Always use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) field for listing the e-mail addresses. This is the way the people you send to will only see their own e-mail address. If you don't see your BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that easy. When you send to BCC: your message will automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients" in the "TO:" field of the people who receive it.

(3) Remove any "FW :" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject if you wish or even fix spelling.

(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 pages to read the one page with the information on it? By Forwarding from the actual page you wish someone to view, you stop them from having to open many e-mails just to see what you sent.

(5) Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to forward it to 10 or 15 people or your entire address book. The email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses. A FACT: The completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition. (Actually, if you think about it, who's supposed to send the petition in to whatever cause it supports? And don 't believe the ones that say that the email is being traced, it just aint so!)

(6) One of the main ones I hate is the ones that say that something like, "Send this email to 10 people and you'll see something great run across your screen." Or, sometimes they'll just tease you by saying something really cute will happen IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! (Trust me, I'm still seeing some of the same ones that I waited on 10 years ago!) I don't let the bad luck ones scare me either, they get trashed. (Could be why I haven't won the lottery??)

(7) Before you forward an Amber Alert, or a Virus Alert, or some of the other ones floating around nowadays, check them out before you forward them. Most of them are junk mail that's been circling the net for YEARS! Just about everything you receive in an email that is in question can be checked out at Snopes. Just go to http://www.snopes. com/

It's really easy to find out if it's real or not. If it's NOT, PLEASE DON'T PASS IT ON.

So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses.

Let Kids Be Heard

2008-05-01T00:44:00.006+08:00

Thanks to my friend Kristi for sending this pictures to my email... I hope she will not get mad at me for posting this in my blog...haha :P Anyway guys, visit her blog too: A Heart Out Thanks a lot! God Bless You All...

Have You Ever Been This Tired?

2008-04-26T23:31:00.008+08:00

Love FlowChart

2008-04-20T15:31:00.007+08:00

This is for everyone... Let's try this one... Start from the upper-left corner... Be Honest and No Cheating Plssss... Haha

Click Here To Enlarge Image

Sulat ni Nanay at Tatay

2008-03-20T13:20:00.000+08:00

Sa aking Anak,

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensiyahan.

Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing sinisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan.

Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.

Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.

Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.

Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan.

Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

Hug Certificate For You

2008-03-07T01:30:00.005+08:00

If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

This is a Hug Certificate For You!!!

The Secret

2008-03-06T02:34:00.000+08:00

One day, one friend asked another, 'How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down.'
With her eyes smiling, she said, 'I know the Secret!'
'What secret is that?', To which she replied,
'I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others.'

'The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time. I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy.'

The questioner's first thought was,
'That's too simple!'
But upon reflecting over her own life, she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM!
And now I pass the Secret on to you! So once you get it, what will you do?

YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too! That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it. Really trust God!

God Bless You All!!!

Cup of Coffee

2008-03-05T17:13:00.004+08:00

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him.

When the class began...

Wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full.

They agreed that it was. The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls.

He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it in the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else.

He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes!".

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand.

The students laughed. "Now," said the professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your LIFE.

The golf balls are the important things - God, family, your health, your friends and your favorite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full...

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, and your new laptop, car etc..

The sand is everything else - the small stuff.

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have a room for the things that are important to you."

Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Visit the church to pray.. Take time to get medical check- ups. Take your partner out to dinner.

Make someone close to you happy.. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. "Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a FRIEND..."

God Bless You All...

Joke Time (Part 3)

2008-03-04T10:53:00.004+08:00

Mom: Baby, your good in math. Now I'm going to ask you a question.
Baby: Sure mom...
Mom: If your daddy gives you 3 apples and I give you 4 apples, what's your answer?
Baby: Thank you po!!!

=====

Pare1: Pare parang malalim ang iniisip mo!
Pare2: Nanaginip ako kagabi kasama ko 50 contestants ng Ms. Universe
Pare1: Swerte mo! ano problema mo?
Pare2: Pare ako nanalo!

=====

Patient: Doc takot po ako sa bunot...
Dentist: Eto gamot pampatapang ng loob.
Patient: (Ininom ang gamot)...
Dentist: Ano matapang ka na ba?
Patient: Oo doc! puta pag may gumalaw ng ngipin ko basag ang bungo!

=====

Passenger taps taxi driver's shoulder...
WAAAAAHHHHHH!!!! Screamed the driver...
Passenger: Bakit ka sumigaw?
Driver: Sorry bossing bago lang kasi ako sa taxi. 25 years po kasi ako driver ng Funenaria...

=====

In a pet shop... Customer talking to a parrot...
Customer: Hoy! Can you talk ha?! Bobo!!!
Parrot: Yes I can!!! Ikaw?! Can you fly ha? GAGO!!!

=====

Bobo: Pare hulaan mo ugali ko, nagsisimula sa letter A...
Pare: Approachable?
Bobo: Mali!!!
Pare: Amiable?
Bobo: Mali pa rin!!!
Pare: O sige siret na!
Bobo: ANEST... wehehe!!!

=====

Girl: Doc, pa check-up po.
Doc: Sige hubad ka ng panty at bra tapos higa ka.
Girl: Hindi po ako, itong lola ko po.
Doc: Sige lola, hinga na lang po ng malalim...

=====

Farmer: Lalaki na talaga ang aking anak kasi magsasaka na... Ano ang balak mo itanim sa sakahan mo anak?
Anak: Flowers papa!!! Madaming madaming flowers! Pretty di ba?!

Go To:
Part 2
Part 1

Dancing With God

2008-02-11T23:11:00.001+08:00

I received this one through email... Read on... Just an inspiring story...

When I meditated on the word Guidance, I kept seeing "dance" at the end of the word and I remember reading that doing God's will is a lot like dancing.

When two people try to lead, nothing feels right. The movement doesn't flow with the music, and everything is quite uncomfortable and jerky. When one person realizes that, and lets the other lead, both bodies begin to flow with the music. One gives gentle cues, perhaps with a nudge to the back or by pressing Lightly in one direction or another. It's as if two become one body, moving beautifully. The dance takes surrender, willingness, and attentiveness from one person and gentle guidance and skill from the other.

My eyes drew back to the word Guidance. When I saw "G": I thought of God, followed by "u" and "i".

"God, "u" and "i" dance." God, you, and I dance.

As I lowered my head, I became willing to trust that I would get guidance about my life and once again, I became willing to let God lead.

My prayer for you today is that God's blessings and mercies are upon you on this day and everyday.

May you abide in God, as God abides in you. Dance together with God, trusting God to lead and to guide you through each season of your life. This prayer is powerful and there is nothing attached. If God has done anything for you in your life, please share this message with someone else.

There is no cost but a lot of rewards; so let's continue to pray for one another.

And I Hope You Dance !

7 Ways To Increase Traffic Of Your Site

2008-02-05T14:23:00.000+08:00

Keep Content Fresh - New content is a great way to keep visitors coming back. Search engines also rank sites with fresh content higher. Keeping an active blog is a great way to keep your site new and fresh.

Keep it Simple - Visitors should be able to easily look around your site. If visitors are frustrated and can't find what they are looking for, they are likely to leave quickly and never come back or recommend your site to others.

Help Visitors Contact You - Make it simple for visitors to reach you if they want. Include a guestbook or blog where they can post questions. Add a "contact me" form where they can submit questions to you via email.

Use Descriptive File Names - Use descriptive keywords as names for the files (e.g., pictures, videos) on your site. This will help your site appear more with search engines - especially through things like Google Image Search.

Create Links - Getting links to your site from other websites will help generate more traffic and improve your placement in search engines. Find other Freewebs sites on your same topic and put a link to them on your site -- maybe in a new "Favorite Links" page. Then ask those sites to link back to you by signing their guestbook.

Tag your Site - Adding site tags can increase the number of times your site shows up in search results. To pick the right keywords, try putting yourself in the shoes of your visitors and think what they would search for if they wanted to find your site.

Liven Up Site with Widgets - Add widgets to help your visitors interact with your site, get useful information, or just have fun. They are free and easy to add.

By: Freewebs

God Still Answers Prayers

2008-01-22T10:36:00.000+08:00

This will give you the chills........

GOOD chills.

A young man had been to Wednesday Night Bible Study.

The Pastor had shared about listening to God and obeying the Lord's voice
The young man couldn't help but wonder, 'Does God still speak to people?'

After service, he went out with some friends for coffee and pie and they discussed the message. Several different ones talked about how God had led them in different ways. It was about ten o'clock when the young man started driving home. Sitting in his car, he just began to pray, 'God...If you still speak to people, speak to me. I will listen. I will do my best to obey.'

As he drove down the main street of his town, he had the strangest thought to stop and buy a gallon of milk.

He shook his head and said out loud, 'God is that you?' He didn't get a reply and started on toward home.

But again, the thought, buy a gallon of milk.

The young man thought about Samuel and how he didn't recognize the voice of God, and how little Samuel ran to Eli.

'Okay, God, in case that is you, I will buy the milk.' It didn't seem like too hard a test of obedience. He could always use the milk. He stopped and purchased the gallon of milk and started off toward home.

As he passed Seventh Street, he again felt the urge, 'Turn Down that street.' This is crazy he thought, and drove on past the intersection.

Again, he felt that he should turn down Seventh Street.
At the next intersection, he turned back and headed down Seventh.
Half jokingly, he said out loud,
'Okay, God, I will.'

He drove several blocks, when suddenly, he felt like he should stop. He pulled over to the curb and looked around. He was in a semi- commercial area of town. It wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst of neighborhoods either.

The businesses were closed and most of the houses lo oked dark like the people were already in bed.

Again, he sensed something, 'Go and give the milk to the people in the house across the street.'

The young man looked at the house. It was dark and it looked like the people were either gone or they were already asleep. He started to open the door and then sat back in the car seat.

'Lord, this is insane. Those people are asleep and if I wake them up, they are going to be mad and I will look stupid.' Again, he felt like he should go and give the milk.

Finally, he opened the door, 'Okay God, if this is you, I will go to the door and I will give them the milk. If you want me to look like a crazy person, okay. I want to be obedient. I guess that will count for something, but if they don't answer right away, I am out of here.'

He walked across the street and rang the bell. He could hear some noise inside. A man's voice yelled out, 'Who is it? What do you want?' Then the door opened before the young man could get away.

The man was standing there in his jeans and T-shirt. He looked like he just got out of bed. He had a strange look on his face and he didn't seem too happy to have some stranger standing on his doorstep. 'What is it?'

The young man thrust out the gallon of milk, 'Here, I brought this to you.' The man took the milk and rushed down a hallway. Then from down the hall came a woman carrying the milk toward the kitchen. The man was following her holding a baby. The baby was crying. The man had tears streaming down his face.

The man began speaking and half crying, 'We were just praying. We had some big bills this month and we ran out of money. We didn't have any milk for our baby. I was just praying and asking God to show me how to get some milk.'

His wife in the kitchen yelled out, 'I ask him to send an Angel with some. Are you an Angel?'

The young man reached into his wallet and pulled out all the money he had on him and put in the man's hand. He turned and walked back toward his car and the tears were streaming down his face.

He knew that God still answers prayers.

Loy Krathong Festival in Thailand

2007-11-28T14:51:00.000+08:00

Loy Krathong (or Loi Kratong, Thai ลอยกระทง) is a festival celebrated annually throughout Thailand. It is held on the full moon of the 12th month in the traditional Thai lunar calendar, in the western calendar this usually falls into November. The Thai tradition of Loy Kratong started off in Sukhothai, but is now celebrated throughout Thailand, with the festivities in Chiang Mai and Ayutthaya being particularly well known.

“Loi” means “to float”. “Krathong” is a raft about a handspan in diameter traditionally made from a section of banana tree trunk (although modern-day versions use specially made bread 'flowers' and may use styrofoam), decorated with elaborately-folded banana leaves, flowers, candles, incense sticks etc.

Loy Krathong is one of the most beautiful and popular festivals in Thailand. During the evening, many people will go down to their local klong (canal) or river to float their krathongs. They believe this will bring them good luck. The krathongs (see picture above) contain a flower, a candle and three incense sticks which are lighted before being placed on the water. The people usually make a wish at the same time. Some people believe that if the candle remains burning until the krathong is out of sight then their wish will come true. By the end of the evening, there are hundreds of flickering lights bobbing up and down on the water. Quite often there are also firework displays as well as shows and beauty contests for everyone. Overall it is really a memorable evening.

The Loy Krathong festival dates back to the time of the Sukhothai Kingdom, about 700 years ago. It marked the end of the rainy season and the main rice harvest. It is based on a Hindu tradition of thanking the water god for the waters. The farmers of Sukhothai used to hold a festival of floating candles. One year, a beautiful woman called Noppamas, who was the chief royal consort, made some special lanterns for the festival. She made them from banana leaves and shaped them like lotus flowers. The king was impressed with what he saw, so he announced that krathongs would be floated on the water every year from then on. Today, the memory of that woman who made the first krathong is remembered in a beauty contest called "The Noppamas Queen Contest".

According to the writings of H.M. King Rama IV in 1863, the originally Brahmanical festival was adapted by Buddhists in Thailand as a ceremony to honour the Lord Buddha. Apart from venerating the Buddha with light (the candle on the raft), the act of floating away the candle raft is symbolic of letting go of all one's grudges, anger and defilements, so that one can start life afresh on a better foot. People will also cut their fingernails and hair and add them to the raft as a symbol of letting go of the bad parts of oneself. Many Thai believe that floating a krathong will create good luck, and they do it to honor and thank the Goddess of Water, Phra Mae Khongkha.

The beauty contests that accompany the festival are known as "Noppamas Queen Contests". According to legend, Noppamas was a consort of the Sukothai king Loethai (14th century) and she was the first to float decorated krathongs.

I did not have the chance to visit some beautiful places here in Thailand where Loy Krathong was being celebrated like Pattaya, Phuket, etc... But passing through some small rivers and lake when I was on my way home and seeing people placing their Krathongs in the water was enough to see how this Thai people pay respect to their gods. I am sure everyone had fun that night. Not only Thai people celebrated this festival. I also saw some foreigners and fellow Filipinos went to celebrate too. It was a lovely night seeing fireworks in the sky and candlelights floating in the water. Too bad it was not holiday. By the way, Loy Krathong was celebrated last November 24, 2007, Saturday.

God Is With You

2007-11-27T17:13:00.000+08:00

Just a simple, touching story about a child who never heard about Jesus. Always remember that there is a God who always care for us and love us. Read on... God Bless You All!

There was a couple who had a child. The couple never told their daughter anything about the Lord. One night when the little girl was 5 years old, the parents fought with each other and the dad shot the Mom, right in front of the child. Then, the dad shot himself. The little girl watched it all.

She then was sent to a foster home. The foster mother was a Christian and took the child to church. On the first day of Sunday School, the foster mother told the teacher that the girl had never heard of Jesus, and to have patience with her. The teacher held up a picture of Jesus and said, "Does anyone know who this is?" The little girl said, "I do, that's the man who was holding me the night my parents died."

Traffic Exchange

2007-11-27T15:40:00.000+08:00

What can I say about today, November 27, 2007? Such a BORING DAY!!! eerrrrr... I thought of something to do and I ended up searching for some ways how to increase traffic to my blog. I found this topic "Traffic Exchange" in Wikipedia. I think this could help somehow. Here is some part of the content...

A traffic exchange is a type of website which provides a service for webmasters in exchange for traffic. It is similar to the autosurf concept with the exception that traffic exchanges usually use a manual rotation.

A traffic exchange website receives website submissions from webmasters that join traffic exchange networks. The person who submitted the website then has to browse other member sites on the exchange program to earn credits, which enable their sites to be viewed by other members through the surf system. This increases the number of visitors to all the sites involved.

Exchanges enforce a certain credit ratio, which illustrates the amount of websites the surfer must view in order to receive one hit through the program for their promoted website. Many sites offer the ability to upgrade one's membership level for a more equal credit ratio.

As the viewers are all website owners or affiliates, it is possible that some might find certain member sites interesting and thus make note of them on their own sites, sending more traffic their way. Most traffic programs also impose a time limit when members are browsing, ranging from 10 seconds to 60 seconds. Some incorporate the use of captcha to ensure user interaction.

Almost all traffic exchange programs are free, although many of them offer special features to paid members and offer credits for purchase. Almost all traffic exchange programs encourage users to build their own referral networks, which in turn increases the referrers' amount of credits.

The traffic generated in a traffic exchange can be leveraged by using a downline builder to assist the user in building a referral network in the many different traffic exchanges.

In practice, traffic exchange programs are generally used by small business owners or marketers who either want free advertising or use the exchange programs for low-budget advertisement campaigns. Also, a small number of users may simply purchase credits because of their typically low price. Some are free, some ask you to pay. Some pay the members just for viewing the pages, while others provide faster browsing and good ratios like 1:1 for upgraded accounts and to make is easier to upgrade they have advertisers that will pay for a paid membership letting the member get better benefits for free.

Click here for list of traffic exchanges sites: ALLGPT

Is This True?

2007-11-26T12:18:00.000+08:00

1. Sex is a beauty treatment. Scientific tests found that when women make love, they produce amounts of the hormone estrogen, which makes hair shine and skin smooth.

- Good Bye: WATSONS...

2. Gentle, relaxed lovemaking reduces your chances of suffering dermatitis, skin rashes and blemishes. The sweat produced cleanses the pores and makes your skin glow.

- Good Bye: DR. VICKY BELO MEDICAL GROUP...

3. Lovemaking can burn up those calories you piled on during that romantic dinner.

- Good Bye: WINNERS GYM...

4. Sex is one of the safest sports you can take up. It stretches and tones up just about every muscle in the body. It's more enjoyable than swimming 20 laps, and you don't need special sneakers!

- Good Bye: SPORTS COMPLEX...

5. Sex is an instant cure for mild depression. It releases endorphins into the bloodstream, producing a sense of euphoria and leaving you with a feeling of well-being.

- Good Bye: YOGA, SOCORO and MERCURY Drug Store...

6. The more sex you have, the more you will be offered. The sexually active body gives off greater quantities of chemicals called pheromones. These subtle sex perfumes drive the opposite sex crazy!

- Good Bye: AXE, POLO, DAVIDOFF and CALVIN KLEIN...

7. Sex is the safest tranquilizer in the world. IT IS 10 TIMES MORE EFFECTIVE THAN VALIUM.

- Good Bye: SOCORO and MERCURY Drug Store...

8. Kissing each day will keep the dentist away. Kissing encourages saliva to wash food from the teeth and lowers the level of the acid that causes decay, preventing plaque build-up.

- Good Bye: DR. ESCANLAR... (My Dentist when I was still a small boy)

9. Sex actually relieves headaches. A lovemaking session can release the tension that restricts blood vessels in the brain.

- Good Bye: BIOGESIC, TYLENOL...

10. A lot of lovemaking can unblock a stuffy nose. Sex is a natural antihistamine. It can help combat asthma and hay fever.

- Good Bye: NEOZEP, SINUTAB...

Big THANKS to DARA for this... By the way, She is an expert... hahaha Peace dude!!!

To all the kids who where born in the 1950's - 80's

2007-11-20T15:07:00.000+08:00

I received this email from my cousin, Ate Caryl. While I was reading the email, I recalled when I was a kid doing the same thing. Playing all day outside the house like "Tagu-an, Habulan, Diving in the dirty fish pond, flying kites, building cars made of sardine cans, etc... ". It was absolutely fun. Then I tried to compare my time as a kid to the generation today. It is too far different right now. You cannot find kids playing in the streets anymore, diving in dirty fish ponds, building cars made of cans and even flying kites at summer time except I think, in rural areas. So for those who where born in this generation, read on!!!

Actually, the original title of this is "To all the kids who where born in the 1950's - 70's". But I changed it until 80's considering that I was born in that time and we were still doing all this stuffs when I was still a kid.

First, some of us survived being born to mothers who smoked and/or drank while they carried us. (Sioktong ang inumin) They took aspirin, ate blue cheese dressing, fish from a can (Brand:Ligo), and didn't get tested for diabetes.
Then after that trauma, our baby cribs were covered with bright colored lead-based paint, pati na yung laruang kabayu-kabayuhan.
We had no childproof lids on medicine bottles, doors or cabinets and when we rode our bikes, we had no helmets, no kneepads , sometimes wala ngang preno yung bisikleta.
As children, we would ride in car with no seat belts or air bags - hanggang ngayon naman, di ba ? (Jeep)
Riding in the back of a pick up on a warm day was always a special treat. (May kaya kayo pare!)
We drank water from the garden hose and NOT from a bottle (Minsan straight from the faucet).
We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one bottle and NO ONE actually died from this Or contacted hepatitis.
We ate rice with tinunaw na purico (Dahil ubos na ang star margarine) , nutribuns na galing kay macoy and drank soft drinks with sugar in it, but we weren't overweight kasi nga..... WE WERE ALWAYS OUTSIDE PLAYING!!
We would leave home in the morning and play all day, as long as we were back when the streetlights came on. Sarap mag patintero, tumbang preso , habulan at taguan.
No one was able to reach us all day (Di uso ang cellphone , walang beepers). And we were O.K.
We would spend hours building our trolleys or slides out of scraps and then ride down the street, only to find out we forgot the brakes. After running into the bushes a few times, we learned to solve the problem.
We did not have Playstations, Nintendo's, X-boxes, no video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, no video tape movies, no surround sound, no cell phones, no personal computers, no Internet or Internet chat rooms....... WE HAD FRIENDS.
We fell out of trees, got cut, broke bones and teeth and there were no lawsuits from these accidents. The only rubbing we get is from our friends with the words... Masakit ba? Pero pag galit yung kalaro mo… Ang sasabihin sa iyo... Beh, buti nga sayu!
We play in the dirt , wash our hands a little and ate with our bare hands. We were not afraid of getting worms in our stomachs.
We have to live with homemade guns - gawa sa kahoy, tinali ng rubberband , sumpit, tirador at kung ano ano pa na puedeng makasakit... Pero walang nagrereklamo.
Made up games with sticks (Syatong) and cans (Tumbang preso) and although we were told it would happen, wala naman tayong binulag o napatay... Paminsan minsan may nabubukulan.
We rode bikes or walked to a friend's house and knocked on the door or rang the bell, or just yelled for them!
Mini basketball teams had tryouts and not everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn to deal with disappointment. Walang sumasama ang loob.
Ang magulang ay nandoon lang para tingnan kung ayos lang ang bata... Hindi para makialam.

This generation (1950's-1980's) of ours has produced some of the best risk-takers, problem solvers and managers ever!

The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation and new ideas.

We had freedom, failure, success and responsibility, and we learned HOW TO DEAL WITH IT ALL!

Are you one of us? If so..... CONGRATULATIONS!

Note: You might want to share this with others who have had the luck to grow up as kids, before the government regulated our lives for our own good. And while you are at it, forward it to your kids so they will know how brave their parents were.

Rated 18 Video

2007-11-15T10:49:00.000+08:00

If you are under 18 years old... You are not allowed to view this video... Parental guidance is recommended... Enjoy watching!!!

Boxing Tournament

2007-11-13T10:45:00.000+08:00

What happened??? Haha

Joke Time (Part 2)

2007-11-13T10:25:00.001+08:00

=====

1 panget na babae, hinoholdap.....

Holdaper: Holdap ito! Akin na gamit mo!
Babae: RAPE! RAPE! RAPE!
Holdaper: Anong rape? Holdap nga to eh!
Babae: Wala lang! Nagsusuggest lang... Baka pa naman OK sayu...

=====

Priest: Ang mga bakla ay walang lugar sa kaharian ng langit.
Mga bakla: Okey lang po father.. Doon na lang kami sa rainbow mag slide-slide!!!

=====

ANAK: Ma! Ma! Si kuya, nagbigti sa banyo!
MAMA: Ha? (tumakbo patungong cr.) Ikaw ha! Wag ka magbiro ng ganyan!
ANAK: Hehe. Joke lang. Sa sala talaga siya nagbigti.

=====

Sa sabungan, walang entrance fee ang may dalang manok. Si Juan, para makalibre pumasok na may dalang inahin.

Bantay: (Sinita si juan) anu yan?
Juan: (Galit pa!) MANOK!
Bantay: Alam ko, eh bakit inahin?
Juan: Helleeerrrr! May laban ang mister nya, syempre moral support!

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NOEL: Ipapangalan ko sa aking anak "LEON" baliktad ng Noel.
NINO: Sa akin "ONIN" baliktad ng NINO.
TOTO: Huwag niyo akong maisali-Sali dyan sa usapan niyo ha!

=====

A thirsty City Girl went to a barrio...

GIRL: Where galing your water Manong?
MATANDA: Sa ilog ineng.
GIRL: Ha? You drink that water Manong?
MATANDA: Duuuuhhh! Why Ineng? Sa syudad ba chinu-chew?

=====

Doc talking to moms.....

Mahilig ka sa sweets so you named her CANDY, right?
Ikaw naman, mahilig ka sa pera so you named him PENNY, di ba?

3rd mom tumayo, "Let's go DICK bago tayo mainsulto dito!

=====

Go To:
Part 3
Part 1

Joke Time (Part 1)

2007-11-13T10:05:00.001+08:00

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PAMBANSANG HAYOP.....

Host: Ano ang pambansang hayop ng Pilipinas? nagsisimula xa s letter K..
Contestant: KABAYO!!!
Host: Mali !! nagtatapos xa s letter W..
Contestant: KABAYOW!!
Host : Mali pa rin!! may sungay ang hayop na ito...
Contestant: Alam ko na!!! DEMONYONG KABAYOW!!!

=====

A husband came home 4 am and saw his wife in the bed with another man.

His wife shouted at him
Wife: Where have you been?
Husband: Who's that?
Wife: Ay grabe ka, don't change the topic!!!

=====

In a MISS GAY PAGENT.....

HOST: How can we uplift our economy today even though we're under economic crisis?
GAY: (Namutla) PUNYETA kayo mga bakla!!!! Kala ko ba sabi nyu Miss Gay ito?! Eh QUIZ BEE naman to eh!!!

=====

Anak: Tay , totoo po bang may multo?
Tatay: Anak, kanino mo naman nalaman yan?
Anak: Sa kapitbhay natin.
Tatay: Anak... Wala tayong kapitbahay.

=====

Usapan ng dalawang aso.....

Aso #1: Pare, sabi nila, ang laway natin may rabies at nakamamatay, tama ba?
Aso #2: Oh, tapos? Anung problema?
Aso #1: Nalunok ko ung laway ko. Kinakabahan ako! Shit!

=====

BF: Hon, may malaki AKONG problema.
GF: Huwag mo sabihin problema MO lang, problema NATIN dahil nagmamahalan tayo. Ngayon ano problema NATIN?
BF: Nabuntis NATIN si INDAY at TAYO ang AMA.

=====

Killer: Father mangungumpisal po ako.
Father: Ano kasalanan mo?
Killer: Pumatay po ako ng 20 na tao.
Father: Bakit?
Killer: Kasi po naniniwala sila sa Diyos, kayo po naniniwala ba?
Father: Dati... Pero ngayon trip trip na lang!

=====

Go To:
Part 3
Part 2

Priceless Pictures

2007-11-02T14:54:00.000+08:00

This is what SAD looks like...

This is what SORRY looks like...

Hhhmm.... Wrong spelling I think...Right?

Privacy Please!!!

Talking about: "Loud Speakers". Would this be enough for you?

Miscalculation...

Shocking Accident...

HARD WORKING Police...

McBURNT...

I think.... I would rather hold it....

Piling up... Want to join them?

This is really going to hurt...

Forgot something...

Please let me explain... I am sorry. Please forgive me...haha

Saw 4 Trailer

2007-10-24T18:58:00.001+08:00

Brand New Saw 4 Trailer - Watch more free videos

Awesome!!! hahahaha I almost died laughing at this one... Damn It!!!

My Wild Self

2007-10-22T17:53:00.000+08:00

Introducing..... Alvin the "Conda-Fro-Antula-Bat"... Charan!!!!! hahahaha

Try it... Here is the link... http://www.buildyourwildself.com/ ... Enjoy... Weeee

Best of Friends, Forever...

2007-10-22T11:35:00.000+08:00

6 Reasons NOT to Get DRUNK

2007-10-19T16:48:00.000+08:00

What the!?! This images reminds me of something... Weeeee getting wasted after school. Hahaha Oh I miss Bossing Edwin so much. A good friend of ours. He is actually, hmmm, okay okay...a Gay. Haha But not like those who are too obvious. He walks like a man, he talk like a man and he dress up like a man. But I tell you, don't cha ever ever sit with him at the taxi. Be sure to sit in the front seat. Coz if you do so, that's the time HE (Edwin) became SHE (Edwina). Haha Ooopsss... I remember someone was almost raped. Who was it? Anyone please? Hahaha And who can forget that time when one of my classmate went into the Girls Toilet and started spraying the acid from his stomach? Weee Good thing he still have the strength to clean it up. How about Ajinomoto? Lady Ann Bar (Butchoy... Haha)? Cheer Up Boys!!! Computer Engineering Batch 2006 is the best!!! Hahaha

Very Good Drivers

2007-10-19T16:11:00.000+08:00

They said this things always happened to woman drivers. But for me I think, this could happen to anyone especially for those who we may call, "Careless Drivers". haha I, sometimes did some stupid things when driving. Lucky enough did not end up like this. weeeeee....

Awesome Airport

2007-10-19T14:37:00.000+08:00

Does anyone have any idea where this Airport is located?

Millau Bridge

2007-10-17T15:48:00.000+08:00

When I received this images from my friend's email, I was totally amazed by this structure. They said this, the Millau Bridge, was included to the list of the "Seven Wonders of the World". According to Wikipedia: The Millau Viaduct (French: le Viaduc de Millau) is a large cable-stayed road-bridge that spans the valley of the River Tarn near Millau in southern France. Designed by French bridge engineer Michel Virlogeux and English architect Norman Foster, it is the tallest vehicular bridge in the world, with one mast's summit at 343 metres (1,125 ft) — slightly taller than the Eiffel Tower and only 38 m (125 ft) shorter than the Empire State Building. The viaduct is part of the A75-A71 autoroute axis from Paris to Béziers. It was formally dedicated on 14 December 2004 and opened to traffic two days later.

Ooopsss...

2007-10-11T11:27:00.001+08:00

I received this email from my cuzin with a subject title, "Oh Sh*t!!!". Well I think if you are in any of this situations, "Oh Sh*t!!!" could be considered an appropriate words to come out of your mouth.What do you think? *wink *wink...

Who Designed This Straw?

2007-10-10T15:51:00.000+08:00

Weird Roads

2007-10-10T15:19:00.001+08:00

Spiderman Got Busted?

2007-09-20T17:05:00.000+08:00

I found this picture in the internet yesterday. Where do you think Mr. Spiderman is going huh? Maybe got busted? So long spidy...

The Most Beautiful Rainbow

2007-09-19T14:44:00.000+08:00

An email from my friend. Enjoy life to the fullest!!!

As we grow up, we will learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it will get harder every day. You'll break hearts too. So remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend being upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.

God Bless You All!!!

Songkran Festival in Thailand

2007-09-12T15:32:00.000+08:00

What is Songkran? Songkran is a Thai traditional New Year which starts on April 13 every year and lasts for 3 days. The first day is called Maha Songkran Day or the day to mark the end of the old year, second day is Wan Nao which is the day after and the last day is Wan Thaloeng Sok which the New Year begins. At this time, people from the rural areas who are working in the city usually return home to celebrate the festival. Thus, when the time comes, Bangkok temporarily turns into a deserted city. Songkran is a Thai word which means "move" or "change place" as it is the day when the sun changes its position in the zodiac. It is also known as the "Water Festival" as people believe that water will wash away bad luck. The value for family is to provide the opportunity for family members to gather in order to express their respects to the elders by pouring scented water onto the hands of their parents and grandparents and to present them gifts including making merits to dedicate the result to their ancestors. The elders in return wish the youngsters good luck and prosperity. The values for community are to provide the opportunity to create unity in the community such as to jointly acquire merits, to meet each other and to enjoy the entertaining events. And for the society value is to create concern upon environment with cooperation such as to clean houses, temples, public places and official buildings. Thais value the religion by means of merits acquisition, offerings alms to monks, Dhamma Practice, listening to sermon and monks-bathing. In the afternoon, after performing a bathing rite for Buddha images and the monks, the celebrants both young and old, joyfully splash water on each other. The most-talked about celebration takes place in the northern province of Chiang Mai where Songkran is celebrated from April 13 to 15. During this period, people from all parts of the country flock there to enjoy the water festival, to watch the Miss Songkran Contest and the beautiful parades.

I have been working here in Thailand for almost six months already and was lucky enough I was able to join and experience this festival. I arrived here in Thailand one week before the Songkran Festival. Just enough time to familiarize the place and meet some friends. April 13, 2007, it was Friday, I saw some people started splashing water on each other in the streets already. Some of them even pour water to the cars passing by. I saw some group of teenagers setting up some speakers and radios outside their house and started dancing and singing. Too bad we still have to go to work that day. On Sunday, April 15, 2007, I went to church in the morning. After the service, did some strolling. Went to the mall, played computer, watched movie and ate some delicious food. Around ten in the evening, my friend invited me to go to Silom Park. It was one of the places here in Bangkok where the big celebration of Songkran was held. There was this street they called Pat Pong, a very long street where once you have entered; it would be difficult for you to go back because it was too crowded. You have to go all the way to the end of the street and go back the other way. I really enjoyed that night. Every one was splashing water on each other. Some even had big water guns. They also had this thing, like a white chalk where they applied it on each other's face. It was really fun. After a few hours of “getting wet”, we went to Nigh Bizarre, one of the Tourist’s Spots in Bangkok. Just walked around and checked some things to buy. But it was quite expensive considering that it was built for Tourist and I am not a tourist at all.

There are still a lot of events here in Bangkok that I have not experienced yet. But one thing for sure, Songkran Festival is one of the best. Be sure to prepare everything first like water gun, extra clothes, money, etc… before deciding to join this festival. See you on the next Songkran Festival.

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

2007-08-31T15:00:00.000+08:00

Wehehe God Bless You All!!!

Pa'no Kung Si Noah Ay Isang Pinoy???

2007-08-30T17:38:00.000+08:00

Oo nga no? Ano kaya nangyari sa Pilipinas? Paano yung barko?

Ganito ang mangyayari sa barko...

Taong 2005 at isang ordinaryong middle class pinoy si Noah. Nagpakita sa kanya ang Diyos at sinabing "Pagkataposng isang taon ay bubuhos ang ulan at babahain ang buong kapuluan ng Pilipinas. Gusto kong gumawa ka ng isang malaking barko at isakay mo rito ang pares-pares na mga hayop at mga mag-asawang pilipino sa iba't ibang kapuluan." Ibinigay kay Noah ang specs ng barko at taos puso nitong tinanggap ang responsibilidad na sagipin ang sambayanang Pilipino sa napipintong pagbaha.

Lumipas ang taon, muling nagpakita ang Diyos kay Noah. Walang arkong nagawa si Noah at galit na galit siyang tinanong ng Diyos, "Nasaan ang barko na ipinagawa ko sa iyo?" Tumugon si Noah, "Patawarin po ninyo ako kung di po natupad ang utos ninyo! Nagkaroon po ng malaking problema sa plano po ninyo."

At inilahad ni Noah ang mga sagabal na nakaharap niya sa pag-gawa ng barko. Humingi siya ng Mayor's permit pero papayag lang daw si Mayor kung ang gagawa ng barko ay ang construction firm ng kanyang pamangkin. Tumungo siya sa Congressman pero papayag lang daw si Congressman kung may matatanggap siyang 30% commission. Nagtayo ng unyon ang mga kinuha niyang manggagawa at nag-strike.

Natunugan ng mga left-leaning groups ang kanyang balak at ang mga ito ay nag-rally dahil daw sa hindi matarungang pagpili ng mga taong sasakay sa barko (mga taong naniniwala lang sa Diyos ang pwedeng sumakay). Nakisali sa rally ang mga bakla at tomboy dahil bias daw na normal na mag-asawa lang ang pwedeng sumakay.

Ang civil society group ay nakisali na rin sa gulo dahil napag-alaman daw nila na ang pondong gagamitin sa paggawa ng barko ay galing sa donasyon ng mga gambling lords at katas ng weteng.

Sa kaguluhang ito ay napilitang magpatawag ng hearing ang senado "in aid of legislation". Sinubukan ni Noah na gamitin ang EO 464 para makaiwas sa hearing pero dahil hindi sya executive official, napilitan siyang tumistigo.

Nang malaman ng senado na utos ng Diyos ang pagpapagawa ng barko, dineklara nila itong unconstitutional dahil hindi raw nito iginalang ang separation ng church at state .

Nakialam na rin ang NBI at PNP at sinabi nilang meron silang impormasyon na ang barko raw na ito ay gagamitin ni Erap sa kanyang pagtakas. Sinabi naman ng ISAFP at DOJ na ito raw ay gagamitin ng grupong Magdalo sa binabalak nilang coup laban kay Arroyo. Nilapitan ni Noah si Mike Defensor para makipag-usap kay GMA. Payag daw si GMA na ituloy ang arko kung ipapaskil daw sa barko ang malaking mukha ni Arroyo na may slogan "Towards a Strong Republic". "Hindi po ako pumayag kaya hanggang ngayon po ay may TRO ang pag-gawa ng barko. Sa palagay ko po kailangan ko pa ng 10 taon para matapos ang inyong proyekto." Ang huling wika ni Noah. Napa-iling ang Diyos at sinabing, "Di ko na kailangang wasakin pa ang bansang ito. Hayaan ko na lang kayong sumira nito."

Thanks Kristi for this post...

Erap Jokes

2007-08-28T18:00:00.000+08:00

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am!
Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
ERAP: How about another Carabao?
--------------------
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light
(as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw.......
--------------------
Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: "Mr. President, what can
you say about the economy?"
Erap: "I don't know, kasi nasa first class ako."
--------------------
Erap while translating a speech from Tagalog to English.
"We must strive"
Translation: Kailangan nating magsikap.
"We must help others"
Translation: Kailangan nating magtulungan.
"In union there is strenght"
Translation: SA SIBUYAS ME TIGAS !!!
--------------------
Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap,
"I haven't met your wife. Where is she?"
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, "Oh, my wife just passed away."
--------------------
ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks
Waiter: DECAF?
ERAP: OO, alangan naman dePLATE
--------------------
While in a drug store.
Erap: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Pharmacist: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap: It does not matter, cuz he can't read yet!!
--------------------
The Estrada's ' were shown into the dentist's office, where
Erap made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or
any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the
dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Erap turned to his wife Loi. "Show him your tooth, Honey."
--------------------
On board an Air Force plane that Erap had commandeered to
pursue a group of kidnappers on another plane, the pilot t
ells Erap: "Sir, enemy plane comming in at 5 o'clock."
Erap replies: "Good. We have time to plan our moves.
It's only 4:25 by my watch."
--------------------
Eraps walks into a casino where he see's a coke vending machine.
He puts in some money and a coke falls out. He smiles and keeps
putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes. He does
this for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says
"Havent you had enough, Sir?" and he says back, "No! Cant you see I'm winning!"
--------------------
Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahilig siyang sumulat ng coded love
messages tulad ng:
ITALY - I truly adore and love you
SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are
Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan , sinikap niyang
gumawa ng "love letter" na gamit and alphabet:
ABC - Always be careful
DEF - Don't Ever forget
GHI - Go Home Immediately
JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me
NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should
Treat U Very Well
Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and
natitira...XYZ.
Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras,
napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago
sinulat ang:
XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!
--------------------
Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpens
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?
--------------------
Exec Sec Zamora: Sir, puwede bang palitan 'tong laptop ko?
Erap: Bakit?
Zamora: Masyadong mabigat, eh!
Erap: Ba't di ka mag-delete ng files para gumaan?
--------------------

Haha I used to searched for this jokes when I was still working at Eversun.
Thanks to all the people who posted this in the net.

Best Student Part 2

2007-08-28T11:49:00.000+08:00

Thanks to my cousin, I took this images from her email this morning. Haha

My Celebrity Look A Likes

2007-08-22T11:57:00.000+08:00

Naaa.... Just got bored here in the office... After a few minutes of browsing the net, I ended up to this site. So I think finding my Celebrity Look A Likes is not that hard. hehe

Ok. Have to go back to work now. God Bless You All.

Pinoy Transformers

2007-08-04T16:23:00.000+08:00

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BarriCART
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BumbleJEEP
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FrenZIKAD
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MegaTRIKE
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OptiBUSprime
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StrICECREAM
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I received this images from my friend, Kristi. Thanks my friend! And who ever made this, thanks to you too... Good job. (",)

Got Bored Last Night

2007-08-04T14:50:00.001+08:00

Yeah I really got bored last night. After washing my clothes, I opened my PC and started doing some stupid things with my pictures. And here is the output of what I did. Arrrrgghhhhh... Damn it!!! I think I just look so ugly if I'm fat....hehehe What do you think?

New BMW?

2007-08-04T12:44:00.000+08:00

My Best Friend's Birthday

2007-08-01T16:44:00.000+08:00

I promised my best friend that I will celebrate her birthday here last July. So I bought some stuff and waited until 12 midnight...

Eat Eat Eat....

Here are some pictures of what happend that night...haha

2 pieces of small Cake w/ Oreo and Juice...haha

Too bad...Can't afford to buy a candle? hehe

Happy Birthday to You Bruha!!!

Bruha, is that you? haha

Love yah best friend...

Is Your Life Too Tough For You?

2007-08-01T10:44:00.000+08:00

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If you think you are not Happy with your Life, look at them...
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If you think your Job is tough, what do you think about this little boy?
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If you think your Salary is low, how about hers?
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If you think you don't have friends, think again...
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If you think studying is burden, what do you think about this girl's situation?
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When you feel like giving up, think of this man...
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If you think you suffer in life, do you suffer as much as this man does?
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Complaining about your transport system? How about them?
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If you think your society is unfair to you, how about her?
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Is Your Life Too Tough For You? Think Again!!!

Things that are beautiful are not always good; but those things that are good will always be beautiful.

Stop complaining about what you don't have in your life. Learn how to be contented to the things you have right now. Be thankful to God for giving you such a wonderful life.

God Bless You All!!!

The Best Parents In The World

2007-07-28T17:53:00.000+08:00

We Love You So Much
Thank you for all the LOVE and CARE
I Miss you both
I Love both of You So Much

God Bless

How God Made The Philippines

2007-07-23T20:07:00.000+08:00

Once upon a time in the kingdom of Heaven , God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael the Archangel found him, resting on the seventh day. He inquired of God, "Where have you been?"

God sighed a deep sigh of satisfaction and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds, "Look, Michael. Look what I've made."

Archangel Michael looked puzzled and said, "What is it?"

"It's a planet," replied God, "and I've put Life on it. I'm going to call it Earth and it's going to be a great place of balance."

"Balance?" inquired Michael, still confused.

God explained, Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, but cold and harsh while pointing to different parts of earth. "For example, Northern southern Europe is going to be poor but sunny and pleasant."

"I have made some lands abundant in water and other lands parched deserts."

"This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice."

The Archangel, impressed by God's work, then pointed to a group of Islands and said, "What are those?"

"Ah," said God. "That's the Philippines , the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful beaches, rivers, mountains and forests. The people from the Philippines are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent and humorous and they are going to be found traveling the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking and high achieving and they will be known throughout the world as carriers of peace and love."

Michael gasped in wonder and admiration but then proclaimed, "What about balance, God? You said there would be balance." God replied wisely,

"Wait until you see the idiots I designated as their leaders."

The Best Answers in Pageant Questions

2007-07-23T16:36:00.000+08:00

Host : Saan ang dream vacation mo?
Girl Contestant : Amangpulo.
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Host : What was the very first gift that you gave to your girlfriend?
Male Contestant : Uhmm...taptoy.
Host : What taptoy?
Male Contestant : Taptoy na teddy bird.
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Host : What's your ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Uhm, uhm, I am not sure....
Host : Hindi, kunwari ikaw, more or less.
Girl : Uhmm... more. (Crowd booing... ) Sige, Sige. Less, less....
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Host : If you had a foreigner friend, where will you bring him to showcase the beauty of the Philippines?
Girl Contestant : Bocaue.
Host : Bocaue. Why Bocaue? There are so many places in the Philippines? Why Bocaue?
Girl : Because it's a magnificent place.
Host : Which part of Bocaue?
Girl : The Bocaue Rice Terraces. (Banawe Kaya Yon!!)
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The contestant, presenting herself, talks into the mic and says,
"Hi! I'm Cristine Reyes from Bagiuo...,"
and then she turns around, walks a little, goes back then yells at the top of her lungs!
Then shouts,
"CITYYYYYYYY!!!!"
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(From Little Miss Philippines)
Host : Anong gusto mo pag-laki mo?
Girl : Maging lalaki po!
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Host : Who's your favorite author?
Contestant : Danielle Steele
Host : Why Danielle Steele?
Contestant : Because, because...Danielle Steele, I like best.
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Host : How would you like me to address you?
Contestant : My address is Project 8, Quezon City.
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Host : What is your best feature?
Contestant : My graduation feature.
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Host : So tell us, why did join this contest?
Contestant : Me, join this contest, why did I. Thank you!
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Host : What do you want to be after you graduate?
Contestant : I want to be a successful Medicine.
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Host : Hindi ito boob, hindi ito tube. Pero tinatawag itong boobtube. Ano ito?
Contestant : BRA!
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Host : What is you favorite motto?
Contestant : If others can't why, why can't I!
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Host : What would you like to say to foreigners?
Contestant : Please come back.
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(From gay beauty contest)
Host : What is the one thing that symbolizes happiness for you?
Gay contestant : (Stops, thinks and then smiles.) EGGPLANT PO!
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Host : What is your typical day?
Contestant : I think Saturday po!
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(From gay contest)
Host : Ano ang advantage mo sa ibang contestant?
Gay Contestant : I think and believe na bilang isang bading......ano nga po ulit yung question?
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Host : Which part of your body is your best asset?
Contestant : (Believe it or not she answered) Si Melanie Marquez po!
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Host : What is your favorite motto?
Contestant : (After a long pause) I don't have a motto eh. (So the crowd starts helping her out. The crowd starts saying "Time is gold! Time is gold!")
Contestant : I have na po. Chinese gold!
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Host : If you were to describe the color blue to a blind person, how would you do it?"
Contestant : That's a very good question. Keep it up. (Then the girl turns and walks away.)
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Host : So, you're vegetarian, what is your favorite vegetable?
Contestant : I like potatoes, tomatoes, beans and what's that? KALABASH?
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Host : What is your motto?
Contestant : Actor! (Everyone starts laughing.) Aay, actress pala.
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Host : Who is your favorite fictional character?
Girl : JOSE RIZAL! (Crowd starts laughing.)
Host : Who is your favorite hero then?
Girl : Hulk Hogan.
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Host : If you were to become a superhero, what would your power be?
Girl Contestant : Uhmm... a bumble bee!
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Host : What is your edge over the other contestants?
Girl Contestant : My edge.... 23 years old.
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Host : What, in your opinion, is the ideal age for marriage?
Girl : Between 24 and 25!
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Host : How do you see yourself 10 years from now?
Girl : I'll be 28.
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Host : Describe your love one in three words.
Girl : Kahit nga po 1 word, kaya ko.
Host : OK, sige!
Girl : In one word, MY LIFE!
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Host : If you were given any special power, what would it be?
Girl : Power of Attorney!
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Host : So you like reading, who's your favorite author?
Girl : Uhmm, Shakespeare.
Host : What works of Shakespeare?
Girl : Hindi ko po alam eh.
Host : But he's your favorite.
Girl : Eh kasi patay na sya eh.
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Host : What is the biggest problem facing the youth today?
Girl : Drugs.
Host : Why?
Girl : Mahal eh!
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Host : What is the essence of being gay?
Contestant : I'm proud to be gay because what is naked is essential to the eye!
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Host : What makes you blush?
Girl : Blush on!
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Host : Hey, I heard you almost didn't make it, how did you get here? Did you ride or did you walk?
Gay Contestant : Of course, did you ride. What do you think of me, did you walk?
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Keep Smiling

Life Is Great

God Bless You All

Transformer Part 2

2007-07-19T18:17:00.000+08:00

Coming Soon...

The Most Awaited Movie Of The Year...

TRANSFORMER 2

HIDE and SEEK

Most Complicated Haircut

2007-07-17T12:02:00.000+08:00

Damn it! I went to a barber shop last Sunday night (July 15, 2007) to have a haircut. OK, the first problem I have encountered of course: "How to explain to the barber the style that I wanted!". So I started explaining to her with matching action. I looked like a Jerk that night in front of other people. Shit! After a few minutes of explaining, good thing she gave me a magazine and she pointed to me the pages (means she wanted me to choose from the picture) of guys with different style of haircut. And I did so chose the simplest one. Then she started cutting my hair. In the process of trimming my hair, I thought that somehow it looked good.

After cutting my hair. I paid 120 baht (Bloody expensive) and looked at the mirror. Wow! Simple cut but I look smart. So I went home. When I arrived home, I decided to check my new haircut. I looked at the mirror and OH MY GOD!!!!! I found out that there are some white lines at the right part of my head. I did not saw any white lines in the picture that I chose that night. I felt like I wanted to go back to the shop and BURN IT. I became uncomfortable right away thinking that I will be going to the office the following morning with that white lines in my head. So I looked for a Shaver just to cut all my hair. And I found one.

The following morning, everyone was shocked when they saw me with my new haircut. I looked like a BLOOD THIRSTY CRIMINAL. Others said I looked like a MONK.

Lesson: Don't go to barber shop anymore. haha

Brain Stuff

2007-07-17T11:25:00.000+08:00

Brain Stuff . . . From Cambridge University.

O lny srmat poelpe can raed tihs.

cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy,

it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm.

Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs psas it on!!

Psas Ti ON !

A Sad Story

2007-07-17T09:59:00.001+08:00

This is an email from my friend Dara. Thanks Dar!!! hahaha shit...yucky...haha

This is a sample of a very bad relationship. The husband wrote this letter for his wife:

------------------
Dear Luningning,

I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good. I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for It. These last two weeks have been hell. Mr. Lopez called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw. Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don't tell me you love me anymore, you don't want sex anymore or anything. Either you're cheating on me or you don't love me anymore. Whatever the case is, I'm gone.

Your EX-Husband,
Papi Willie

P.S. Don't try to find me. Your SISTER and I are moving away to Toronto together this summer! Have a great life!
------------------

After reading the letter, the wife replied:
------------------
Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a far cry from what you've been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and gripping. Too bad that doesn't work. I did notice when you got a hair cut last week, the first thing that came to mind was "You look just like Michael Jackson!" but my mother raised me not to say anything if you can't say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago...

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that my SISTER had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning.... and your silk boxers were $49.99! After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out, so when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for sixty-nine million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two first class tickets to Manila, but when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you always wanted. My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime from me.

So take care.

Signed,
Rich, Freeeee & Available..... Luningning .

P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but MARIA, my SISTER, was born MARIO. I hope you don't have a problem with your hemorrhoids.
------------------

My Sister: MARIA

Babies For Sale!!!

2007-07-16T09:55:00.000+08:00

Ok everyone..... This is a limited offer only. So grab one now while it's still hot...hahaha

Just leave a comment if you have made your decision... ("',)

The Best Police Cars In The World

2007-07-11T12:27:00.000+08:00

Germany (Max. Speed: 320 km/hour) and Spain (Max. Speed: 280 km/hour)

Japan (Max. Speed: 280 km/hour) and England (Do I have to tell the max speed?)

France

Now for the ULTIMATE POLICE CAR in the WORLD.....

UP College Girl

2007-07-07T15:43:00.000+08:00

This is a story from University of the Philippines (Diliman) about a young college girl who passed away last month.

Her name was Summera. She was hit by a dumper truck. She had a boy friend named Arif. Both of them were true lovers. They always hung on the phone. You could never see her without her cell phone. In fact she also changed her phone from Smart to Globe, so both of them can be on the same network, and save on the cost and get good network coverage. She spent half of
the day talking with Arif. Summera's family knew about their relationship. Arif was very close with Summera's family. (Just imagine their love). Before she passed away she always told her friends "If I pass away please bury me with my hand phone" she also said the same thing to her parents.

After her death, people couldn't carry her coffin, I was there. A lot of them tried to do so but still couldn't, everybody including me, had tried to carry the coffin, the result is still the same. Eventually, they called a Feng Shui Master. He took a stick and started speaking to
himself slowly. After a few minutes, he said "this girl misses something here". Then her friends told the Master about her intentions to bury her with her phone. He then opened the coffin and places her phone and SIM card inside the casket. After that they tried to carry the coffin. It could be moved and they carried it into the van easily. All of us were shocked.

Summera's parents did not inform Arif that Summera had passed away. After 2 weeks Arif called Summera,s mom. Arif:"I'm coming home today. Cook something nice for me. Dont tell Summera that I'm coming home today, I wanna surprise her." Her mother replied..... "You come home first, I wanna tell you something very important." after he came, they told him the truth about Summera.

Arif thought that they were playing a fool. He was laughing and said "don't try to fool me - tell Summera to come out, i have a gift for her Please stop this nonsense". Then they showed him her grave. He said... "It's not true. We spoke yesterday. She still calls me." Arif was shaking. Suddenly, his phone rang. "See this is from Summera, see this..." he showed the phone to Summera,s family. All of them told him to answer. He talked using the loudspeaker mode. All of them heard his conversation. Loud and clear, no cross lines, no humming. It was the actual voice of Summera & there was no way others could use her SIM card since it was nailed inside the coffin. They were so shocked and asked for the Feng Shuie Master's help again. The Master brought his co-masters to solve this matter. He & his co-masters worked for 5 hours. Then they discovered one thing...

Globe has the best coverage. Where ever you go, their network follows!!!

Mag GLOBE na kayo!!!!!!

hahaha Thanks kristi for this post.....(",)

See Where Flight Attendants Rest

2007-07-05T17:28:00.000+08:00

Let us start with this Airlines...
hhhmmm... What do you think?

Now, how about this one?
What can you say about this Airline?

How Sinful Are You?

2007-07-02T10:39:00.000+08:00

I took this test from my friend's blog. Thanks friendship.

WOW... 54% chance I'll go to heaven is quite enough I think... haha Envy = 80%...waaaaaa very bad... OK, how about trying this test? Go on.... click it... Don't worry, after you click it you will have everything. I will give you everything. Just click it...haha

Your Deadly Sins

Envy: 80%

Gluttony: 60%

Sloth: 60%

Greed: 40%

Lust: 40%

Pride: 40%

Wrath: 0%

Chance You'll Go to Hell: 46%

You will die at the hands of a jealous lover. How ironic.

How Sinful Are You?

13 Signs of Falling in Love

2007-06-22T14:41:00.000+08:00

13 signs of falling in love

13. When your on the phone with them late at night and they hang up...but you miss them already when it was just two minutes ago

12. You read their texts over and over again...

11. You walk really slow when you're with them...

10. You feel shy whenever you're with them...

9. When you think about them, your heart beats faster and faster...

8. You smile when you hear their voice...

7. When you look at them, you can't see the other people around you... all you see is him/her...

6. You start listening to slow songs, while thinking of them...

5. They become ALL you think about...

4. You get high just from their scent...

3. You realize that you're always smiling to yourself when you think about them...

2. You would do anything for them...

1. While reading this, there was one person on your mind the whole time.....

Ohhhh..... How sweet..... Who was that person? hhhmmmmm.....

Concentration Test

2007-06-22T10:34:00.000+08:00

Cooooooool.........hahaha

When Super Heroes Retire

2007-06-21T17:57:00.000+08:00

Here are some pictures I got from my friend's email.

At least, they are still helping people. (",)

1st Filipino to reach the summit of Mt. Everest

2007-06-21T11:02:00.000+08:00

Did you know who is the 1st Filipino to reach the summit of Mt. Everest?

It was not Oracion

Unknown to many Filipinos, even before Leo Oracion and Erwin "Pastor" Emata of the First Philippine Mt. Everest Expedition and Romi Garduce of University of the Philippines Mountaineers Club reached the summit of Mount Everest last week (1-2-3 in that order), one Filipino had long touched the peak of Everest.
Unfortunately, there were no fanfares and the feat was not broadcasted as the two rival giant networks (ABS-CBN and GMA 7) have declined to sponsor the expedition of the unknown Filipino summiteer.

So, who was the first Filipino to reach the peak of Everest?
When Romi Garduce, the third Filipino who reached the summit of Mount Everest, arrived in Manila on Friday afternoon, the alleged first Filipino summitteer finally broke his silence.

"It's not LEO. I was the first Filipino to reach the peak of Everest."

Proof
The unknown mountaineer who claimed that he was the first one to reach the summit of Mount Everest has distributed copies of videotape to the media who were at the Ninoy Aquino International Airport yesterday.

Here's a part of the tape.....

Best Student

2007-06-20T12:11:00.000+08:00

I copied this post from my friend's blog. Thanks Bruha!!! hahaha

I just missed doing this things with my exams when I was still in school.

A King and Four Wives

2007-06-20T09:33:00.000+08:00

I received an email from my father this morning about a story entitled "A King and Four Wives". So I just wanted to share it with you guys. I hope you will like this story.

A King and Four Wives

Once upon a time there was a rich King who had four wives.

He loved the 4th wife the most and adorned her with rich robes and treated her to the finest of delicacies. He gave her nothing but the best.

He also loved the 3rd wife very much and was always showing her off to neighboring kingdoms. However, he feared that one day she would leave him for another.

He also loved his 2nd wife. She was his confidant and was always kind, considerate and patient with him. Whenever the King faced a problem, he could confide in her, and she would help him get through the difficult times.

The King's 1st wife was a very loyal partner and had made great contributions in maintaining his wealth and kingdom. However, he did not love the first wife. Although she loved him deeply, he hardly took notice of her!!!

One day, the King fell ill and he knew his time was short. He thought of his luxurious life and wondered, "I now have four wives with me, but when I die, I'll be all alone."

Thus, he asked the 4th wife, "I have loved you the most, endowed you with the finest clothing and showered great care over you. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No way!" replied the 4th wife and she walked away without another word. Her answer cut like a sharp knife right into his heart.

The sad King then asked the 3rd wife, "I have loved you all my life. Now that I'm dying, will you follow me and keep me company?" "No!" replied the 3rd wife. "Life is too good! When you die, I'm going to remarry!" His heart sank and turned cold.

He then asked the 2nd wife, "I have always turned to you for help and you've always been there for me. When I die, will you follow me and keep me company?" "I'm sorry, I can't help you out this time!" replied the 2nd wife. "At the very most, I can only walk with you to your grave." Her answer struck him like a bolt of lightning, and the King was devastated.

Then a voice called out: "I'll go with you. I'll follow you no matter where you go. "The King looked up, and there was his first wife. She was very skinny as she suffered from malnutrition and neglect. Greatly grieved, the King said, "I should have taken much better care of you when I had the chance!"

In truth, we all have the 4 wives in our lives:
- Our 4th wife is our body. No matter how much time and effort we lavish in making it look good, it will leave us when we die.
- Our 3rd wife is our possessions, status and wealth. When we die, it will all go to others.
- Our 2nd wife is our family and friends. No matter how much they have been there for us, the furthest they can stay by us is up to the grave.
- And our 1st wife is our Soul. Often neglected in pursuit of wealth, power and pleasures of the world. However, our Soul is the only thing that will follow us wherever we go. Cultivate, strengthen and cherish it now, for it is the only part of us that will follow us to the throne of God and continue with us throughout Eternity.

Thought for the day:
Remember, when the world pushes you to your knees, you're in the perfect position to pray.