Distorted Ideas

When A Thief Forces You To Withdraw From Your ATM

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Thu, 31 Dec 2009 09:15:00 +0000

When a thief forces you to take money from the ATM, do not argue or resist. You might not know what he or she might do to you. What you should do is to punch your PIN in the reverse mode. I.e. if your PIN # is 1254, you punch 4521.The moment you punch in the reverse mode, the money will come out, but will be stuck into the machine half way out and it will alert the Police (security) without the notice of the thief. Every ATM has it; it is specially made to signify danger and help. Not everyone is aware of this.

Forward this to all your loved ones, friends and those you care about.

MEN ARE JUST HAPPIER PEOPLE

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sat, 19 Dec 2009 05:35:00 +0000

NICKNAMES:
- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah.
- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will affectionately refer to each other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT:
- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each throw in $20, even though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have anything smaller and none will actually admit they want change back.
- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket calculators.

MONEY:
- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.
- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need but it's on sale.

BATHROOMS:
- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel .
- The average number of items in the typical woman's bathroom is 337. A man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these items.

ARGUMENTS:
- A woman has the last word in any argument.
- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

FUTURE:
- A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
- A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

SUCCESS:
- A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE:
- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, but she does.

DRESSING UP:
- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the plants, empty the trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.
- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL:
- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.
- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING:
- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children. She knows about dentist appointments and romances, best friends, favorite foods, secret fears and hopes and dreams.
- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY:
A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no use in two people remembering the same thing!

Psalm 23

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Thu, 03 Sep 2009 15:20:00 +0000

(For The Work Place)

The Lord is my real boss, and I shall not want.
He gives me peace, when chaos is all around me.
He gently reminds me to pray and do all things without
murmuring and complaining.

He reminds me that He is my source and not my job.
He restores my sanity everyday and guides my decisions
that I might honor Him in all that I do.

Even though I face absurd amounts of e-mails, system
crashes, unrealistic deadlines, budget cutbacks, gossiping
co-workers, discriminating supervisors and an aging body
that doesn't cooperate every morning, I still will not stop---
for He is with me! His presence, His peace, and His power
will see me through.

He raises me up, even when they fail to promote me.
He claims me as His own, even when the company threatens
to let me go. His Faithfulness and love is better than any bonus check

His retirement plan beats any 401k there is!
When it's all said and done, I'll be working for Him a whole lot longer and for that, I BLESS HIS NAME!!!!!!

The Ant and The Contact Lens

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Mon, 17 Aug 2009 11:17:00 +0000

This is A True Story

Brenda was almost halfway to the top of the tremendous granite cliff. She was standing on a ledge where she was taking a breather during this, her first rock climb. As she rested there, the safety rope snapped against her eye and knocked out her contact lens . 'Great', she thought. 'Here I am on a rock ledge, hundreds of feet from the bottom and hundreds of feet to the top of this cliff, and now my sight is blurry.'

She looked and looked, hoping that somehow it had landed on the ledge. But it just wasn't there.

She felt the panic rising in her, so she began praying. She prayed for calm, and she prayed that she may find her contact lens.

When she got to the top, a friend examined her eye and her clothing for the lens, but it was not to be found. Although she was calm now that she was at the top, she was saddened because she could not clearly see across the range of mountains. She thought of the bible verse 'The eyes of the Lord run to and fro throughout the whole earth.'

She thought, 'Lord, You can see all these mountains. You know every stone and leaf, and You know exactly where my contact lens is. Please help me.'

Later, when they had hiked down the trail to the bottom of the cliff they met another party of climbers just starting up the face of the cliff. One of them shouted out, 'Hey, you guys! Anybody lose a contact lens?'

Well, that would be startling enough, but you know why the climber saw it? An ant was moving slowly across a twig on the face of the rock, carrying it!

The story doesn't end there. Brenda's father is a cartoonist. When she told him the incredible story of the ant, the prayer, and the contact lens, he drew a cartoon of an ant lugging that contact lens with the caption, 'Lord, I don't know why You want me to carry this thing.. I can't eat it, and it's awfully heavy. But if this is what You want me to do, I'll carry it for You.'

I think it would do all of us some good to say, 'God, I don't know why You want me to carry this load. I can see no good in it and it's awfully heavy.. But, if You want me to carry it, I will.'

God doesn't call the qualified, He qualifies the called..

Yes, I do love GOD. He is my source of existence and my Savior. He keeps me functioning each and every day Without Him, I am nothing, but with Him... I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.. (Phil. 4:13)

This is a simple test.. If you love GOD and are not ashamed of all the marvelous things He has done for you, send this to ten people and the person who sent it to you.

This Should Be Posted In Schools and Work Places

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 03:18:00 +0000

This has been around before, but I found it a nice reminder.

Worth sharing - wise thoughts indeed

This should be posted in all schools and work places.

Love him or hate him, he sure hits the nail on the head with this! Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a High School about 11 things they did not and will not learn in school. He talks about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this concept set them up for failure in the real world.

Rule 1: Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2: The world won't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3: You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.
Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss.
Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault, so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in your own room.
Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10: Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

If you agree, pass it on.
If you can read this - Thank a teacher!

Truth About Red Bull

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 16 Aug 2009 02:50:00 +0000

IT IS ADVISED NOT TO CONSUME THIS DRINK. IT IS A VERY DANGEROUS DRINK!

As a public health safety, please pass on this email to all the contacts in your address book especially those with teenage children.and make copies to show to all the people you know.

This drink is SOLD in all the supermarkets IN OUR country. and our children ARE CONSUMING IT ON A TRIAL BASIS. IT can be mortal..

RED BULL was created to stimulate the brains in people who are subjected to great physical force and in "stress coma" and never to be consumed like an innocent drink or soda pop. RED BULL IS the energizer DRINK that is commercialized world-wide with its slogan:

It increases endurance; awakens the concentration capacity and the speed of reaction, offers more energy and improves the mood.. All this can be found in a can of RED BULL, the power drink of the millennium.!

Red Bull has managed to arrive at almost 100 countries worldwide. The RED BULL logo is targeted at young people and sportsmen, two attractive segments that have been captivated by the stimulus that the drink provides..

It was created by Dietrich Mateschitz, an industrialist of Austrian origin who discovered the drink by chance. It happened during a business trip to Hong Kong , when he was working at a factory that manufactured toothbrushes.

The liquid, based on a formula that contained caffeine and taurine, caused a rage in that country. Imagine the grand success of this drink in Europe where the product still did not exist, besides it was a superb opportunity to become an entrepreneur.

BUT THE TRUTH ABOUT THIS DRINK IS ANOTHER THING:

FRANCE and DENMARK have just prohibited it as a cocktail of death, due to its vitamin components mixed with GLUCURONOLACTONE' , a highly dangerous chemical, which was developed by the United States Department of Defense during 60 years to stimulate the moral of the troops based in VIETNAM , which acted like a hallucinogenic drug that calmed the stress of the war..

But their effects in the organism were so devastating, that it was discontinued, because of the high index of cases of migraines, cerebral tumors and diseases of the liver that was evident in the soldiers who consumed it.

And in spite of it, in the can of RED BULL you can still find as one of its components: GLUCURONOLACTONE, categorized medically as a stimulant.

But what it does not say on the can of RED BULL, are the consequences of its consumption, and that has forced us to place a series of WARNINGS:

1. It is dangerous to take it if you do not engage in physical exercise afterwards, since its energizing function accelerates the heart rate and can cause a sudden attack.
2. You run the risk of undergoing a cerebral hemorrhage, because RED BULL contains components that dilute the blood so that the heart utilizes less energy to pump the blood, and thus be able to deliver physical force with less effort being exerted.
3.. It is prohibited to mix RED BULL with alcohol, because the mixture turns the drink into a "Deadly Bomb" that attacks the liver directly, causing the affected area never to regenerate anymore.
4. One of the main components of RED BULL is the B12 vitamin, used in medicine to recover patients who are in a coma; from here the hypertension and the state of excitement which is experienced after taking it, as if you were in a drunken state.
5. The regular consumption of RED BULL triggers off symptoms in the form of a series of irreversible nervous and neuronal diseases.

CONCLUSION: It is a drink that should be prohibited in the countries of the Caribbean and Latin America , (and the entire world) as it is already waking up other nations because when it is mixed with alcohol it creates a time bomb for the human body, mainly between innocent adolescents and adults with little experience.

Be Aware Of This....

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:33:00 +0000

Please Inform all your Female Friends !!!!!

A woman at a bar on a Saturday night was taken by 5 men, who, according to hospital and police reports, gang raped her before dumping her. Unable to remember the events of the evening, tests later confirmed the repeat rapes, along with traces of Rohypnol in her blood and Progesterex, essentially a small sterilization pill.

The drug is now being used by rapists at parties to rape AND sterilize their victims. Progesterex is available to vets to sterilize large animals. Progesterex is being used together with Rohypnol, the date rape drug.

As with Rohypnol, all they have to do is drop it into the girl's drink. The girl can't remember a thing the next morning, of all that had taken place the night before. Progesterex, which dissolves in drinks just as easily, is such that the victim doesn't get pregnant; she won't conceive from the rape and the rapist needn't worry about having a paternity test identifying him months later.

The drug's effects ARE NOT TEMPORARY - They areP*E*R*M*A* N* E*N*T!!! Progesterex was designed to sterilize horses.. Any female who takes it will NEVER BE ABLE TO CONCEIVE... The weasels can get this drug from anyone who is in the vet school or any university.

It's that easy, and Progesterex is about to break out big on campuses everywhere. Believe it or not, there are even sites on the Internet telling people how to use it.

Please forward this to everyone you know, especially girls.. Be careful when you're out and don't leave your drink unattended..

Please make the effort to forward this on to all you know... Guys, please inform all your female friends and relatives!

Beware of this New Scheme

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:21:00 +0000

THIS APPLIES TO BOTH WOMEN AND MEN BEWARE OF PAPER ON THE BACK WINDOW OF YOUR VEHICLE --- NEW WAY TO DO CARJACKINGS (NOT A JOKE)

Heads up everyone! Please, keep this circulating... You walk across the parking lot, unlock your car and get inside. You start the engine and shift into Reverse. When you look into the rearview mirror to back out of your parking space, you notice a piece of paper stuck to the middle of the rear window. So, you shift into Park, unlock your doors, and jump out of your car to remove that paper (or whatever it is) that is obstructing your view.

When you reach the back of your car, that is when the carjackers appear out of nowhere, jump into your car and take off. They practically mow you down as they speed off in your car.

And guess what, ladies? I bet your purse is still in the car. So now the carjacker has your car, your home address, your money, and your keys. Your home and your whole identity are now compromised!

BEWARE OF THIS NEW SCHEME THAT IS NOW BEING USED.

If you see a piece of paper stuck to your back window, just drive away. Remove the paper later. A purse contains all kinds of personal information and identification documents, and you certainly DO NOT want this to fall into the wrong hands.

Banana Test

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Tue, 05 May 2009 17:04:00 +0000

There was a very, very tall coconut tree and there were 4 animals,

a Lion,

a Chimpanzee,

a Giraffe,

and a Squirrel, who passed by.

They decided to compete to see who would be fastest to get a banana off the tree.

Who do you guess will win?
Your answer will reflect your personality.

So think carefully . . .. Try and answer within 30 seconds

Got your answer?

Now scroll down to see the analysis.

========================================

If your answer is:

Lion = you're dull.

Chimpanzee = you're a moron.

Giraffe = you're a complete idiot.

Squirrel = you're just hopelessly stupid.

WHY???

A COCONUT TREE DOESN'T HAVE BANANAS.

Obviously you're stressed and overworked.
You should take some time off and relax!
Try again this year.

Apologize by Timbaland

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 21 Dec 2008 14:29:00 +0000

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground
And I’m hearing what you say
But I just can’t make you sound
You tell me that you need me
Then you go and cut me down
But wait...
You tell me that you’re sorry
Didn’t think I’d turn around and say..

That it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late

I’d take another chance, take a fall, take a shot for you
And I need you like a heart needs a beat
(But it's nothing new)
Yeah yeah

I loved you with a fire red, now it’s turning blue
And you say
Sorry like the angel heaven let me think was you
But I’m afraid

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
Woahooo woah

It’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, it’s too late
I said it’s too late to apologize, yeah yeah
I said it’s too late to apologize, a yeah

I’m holding on your rope
Got me ten feet off the ground...

One of my favorite songs... Ü

Sincere Apologies

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 23 Nov 2008 02:43:00 +0000

Sincere Apologies To Everyone,

Over the past months I have forwarded funny pictures and jokes to
friends who I thought shared the same sense of humour.

Unfortunately this wasn't the case and I seem to have upset quite a few
people who have accused me of being sexist and shallow. If you were one
of these people, please accept my humblest apologies.

From now on I will only send emails with a cultural or educational
content such as old monuments, nature and other interesting structures.

Attached, you'll find a picture of the Pont Neuf Bridge in Paris .

For those of you who are interested,Pont Neuf is the oldest bridge in
Paris and took 26 years to build. Construction began in 1578 and ended
in 1604. 'Le Pont Neuf' is actually made of 2 independent bridges, one
with seven arches and the other with five arches.

Fascinating...

Joke Time (Part 5)

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Mon, 08 Sep 2008 12:38:00 +0000

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
***
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
***
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
***
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
***
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
***
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
***
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
***
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
***
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
***
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
***
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
***
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

How The Beijing Olympic Logo Was Created

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 06:13:00 +0000

Best Wishes

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:55:00 +0000

Okay so this is how I imagine this conversation went:

Walmart Employee: 'Hello 'dis be Walmarts, how can I help you?'

Customer: ' I would like to order a cake for a going away party this week.'

Walmart Employee: 'What you want on the cake?'

Customer: 'Best Wishes Suzanne' and underneath that 'We will miss you'.

Joke Time (Part 4)

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 07 Sep 2008 05:52:00 +0000

Misis : Darling, ano ang tawag sa isang asawa na sexy, maganda, hindi selosa, mapagmahal, masipag, mapagkalinga, masarap magluto?
Mister: Guni-guni!

***
TANONG: Paano mo sasabihin sa isang babae na mataba siya nang hindi siya mababastos?
SAGOT: 'Uhm, excuse me, miss...Mang Tomas ba ang lotion mo?' <>

***
Aanhin ko ang napakalaking bahay, mamahaling sasakyan, milyun-milyong kayamanan, at masasarap na pagkain kung ang kapit-bahay ko ang may-ari ng mga iyun?!

***
Nanay: Ano 'tong malaking zero sa test paper mo?
Anak : Hindi po 'yan zero, 'Nay. Naubusan lang ng star ang teacher ko kaya binigyan niya ako ng moon! Moon lang 'yan, 'Nay, promise!

***
Mga sikat na salawikain:
Better late than pregnant.
Kapag may tiyaga, good luck!
Aanhin pa ang damo...kabayo ba ako?
Do unto others, then, run! Run! Run!
Ang hindi magmahal sa sariling wika ay lumaki sa ibang bansa.
Ang lalaking nagigipit, sa bakla kumakapit.

***
Guro: Sino si Jose Rizal?
Juan: Di ko po kilala.
Guro: Ikaw Pepe?
Pepe: Di ko rin po kilala...
Guro: Di nyo kilala si Jose Rizal?
Pedro: Ma'm, baka po sa kabilang section sya!

***
Paano humamon ng AWAY ang ...
BULAG?
Magpakita kayo mga Duwag!
DULING?
Isa Isa Lang! para patas ang Laban!
PILAY?
Patay kung Patay! Walang Takbuhan!

***
Pedro: Pare balita ko bading ka daw. totoo ba?!
Ambo: Pare, Mga chismax lang 'yun galing sa mga chuvanes na walang magawa sa mga chenilyn nila.... chura nila! hmpf!

***
Boy: Di na tuloy ang kasal natin
Girl: Bakit?!
Boy: Kuya mo kasi eh!
Girl: Hindi no! Gusto ka ng Kuya ko!
Boy: Yun nga eh...gusto ko rin ang kuya mo!

***
BALIW (tumawag sa mental hospital): Hello... may tao po ba sa Room 168?
Telephone Operator: Wala po, bakit?
Baliw: Check ko lang kung nakatakas talaga ako!

***
Bigo ka ba sa luv? eto ang mga BEST partners :
Kuba: Mapagkumbaba
Pilay: Hindi ka tatakbuhan
Bulag: walang paki sa looks mo
Pipi: Hindi nagbibitiw ng bad words
Duling: Hindi ka hahayaang mag-isa!

***
American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino:
American: Use my name 4 times in a sentence!
Pedro: Paul, be carePaul, you might Paul in the swimming Paul.

***
Quote for the Day...
Ang Buhay ay parang bato... it is HARD !!
***
Love is a hidden fire, a pleasant sore, a soothing pain, an agreeable torment, a sweet wound, in short - a gentle death! Ang lalim! Grabe...! Dati Love is blind lang, eh!
***
Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!
Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?
Mister: Nabuntis natin si Inday, tayo ang ama!

***
Kapag may kaaway ka, tandaan mo...dito lang ako... dito lang talaga ako...tapos dyan ka lang, wag kang pupunta dito! Baka madamay ako..

***
Prospective Employer to Applicant: ' So why did you leave your previous job?'
Applicant: ' The company relocated and they did not tell me where!'

***
Juan: Birthday ng asawa ko...
Pedro: Ano regalo mo?
Juan: Tinanong ko kung ano gusto niya.
Pedro: Ano naman sinabi?
Juan: Kahit ano basta yung may DIAMOND.
Pedro: Ano binigay mo?
Juan: Ha, eh di, ..... Baraha.

A Mouse Fable

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Thu, 10 Jul 2008 06:51:00 +0000

A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package... "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap.

Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!"

The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it."

The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it. "

The mouse turned to the cow and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The cow said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it's no skin off my nose.But wish you well; be assured you are in my prayers "So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap-- alone.

That very night a sound was heard throughout the house -- like the sound of a mousetrap catching its prey.The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught.

In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake bit the farmer's wife.

The farmer rushed her to the hospital and she returned home with a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever with fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to sit with her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died.

So many people came for her funeral, the farmer had the cow slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall with great sadness.

So, the next time you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, Remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another.

EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON.

One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend.

Friend!!! Thanks for this... I luv yah!!!haha
Please visit this blog also: A Heart Out

Some Quotes

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 03:03:00 +0000

In a kindergarten class, a little girl asked:
Girl: Ma’am, do 40 years old girls get pregnant?
Teacher: Yes!
Girl: How about 20?
Teacher: Yes dear!
Girl: A 5 years old?
Teacher: No!
(A little boy whispered to the girl)
Boy: See? I told you not to worry.

-----o-----

Be Optimistic…
All the people you hate are going to die eventually…
You just have to wait patiently…

-----o-----

Hurt a true heart as many times as you want.
Still, it won’t stop loving you.
But try to cheat a true heart.
It won’t hurt or hate you back.
It will only not dare to love you again…

-----o-----

Bruno: Ano na sa papel mo pre?
Pedro: Listahan sang mga hadlok sakon ah.
Bruno: Palantaw beh… Oh, ngaa ari di ngalan ko aw?
Pedro: Ngaa aw? Mabato ka sakon?
Bruno: Oo eh!!!
Pedro: Ahh… Ti erison ko nalang eh… Wala problema ah…

-----o-----

By the time you realize…
What your parents said was right…
You already have kids…
Who begins to think that you are wrong…

-----o-----

Time is the most playful element because…
It lengthens the minutes when you are waiting.
And rushes the hours when you enjoy the moments.

-----o-----

Lalaki: Kuhaon ko ang bituon kag ihatag sa imo.
Babae: Hipos ka da gani ah. Hindi mo gani makuha pung-it mo, bituon pa!
Lalaki: Ay sorry gid. Wala ko kabalo na pung-it gle gusto mo.

-----o-----

Define AGONY:
It’s like a one armed man…
Hanging at the edge of a cliff…
By his only arm with his balls…
Devastatingly ITCHY…
Define DOOM:
He scratched it…

-----o-----

The biggest blessing in our lives,
Is simply the presence of
People who care so much,
Whose love is for real,
And see us much beyond ourselves.

-----o-----

Sometimes, we dream of having someone we really like.
But life is not like that.
We don’t get everything we want.
But in the end,
We end up having someone better that we dream.

-----o-----

They say:
If love becomes painful…
Its time to let go and save yourself.
But, if love is true…
Pain is never a reason to let go.

-----o-----

You are one of those whom I never asked from God.
But still he gave you to me.
I asked him why and He said…
“Coz I know this person can feel your life,”
“In ways others can’t.”

-----o-----

Junior: Tay, nasugatan po ako.
Tatay: Talagang matapang anak ko.Hindi marunong umiyak!
Junior: Syempre nmn po itay!
Sabi nga po ni Fergie…
“Big girls don’t cry… Lalalala”

-----o-----

Sa isang tindahan:
Bata: May load kayo ate?
Tindera: Meron!
Bata: Patext nmn…

-----o-----

A lawyer driving on a hi-way
Notices a crowd in an intersection
With his urge to get into the thick crowd and see the action
He shouted: “I am the son of the victim!!!”
Upon hearing, the people made way for him to get through.
There, he saw, bloody and helpless lying in front of the people.
A PIG bumped by a trailer truck.

-----o-----

When I was in Grade 1,
My teacher told me to write down
What I wanted to be when I grow up.
I wrote down, “Happy”.
She told me that I did not understand the assignment.
I answered, “You did not understand life!”
Nosebleed yung teacher ko …Grade 1 palang ako noon…

-----o-----

If there is one lesson we, young adults, ought to learn
It should be Maturity…
Maturity to understand that life is unfair
And, maturity not to make things worse.
Maturity to realize that there are things that we can’t change
And, maturity to accept them gracefully.
Maturity in loving
And, maturity to be never bitter if things don’t work out.

-----o-----

Teacher: Pedro! 1+3?
Pedro: 4, Ma’am.
Teacher: Very good! Ikaw Juan, 3+1?
Juan: Mau na!!! kung suli na gani, ako dayun tuksuon.
Pabor-pabor ba!!! Abseni nalang ko da ah!

-----o-----

Minsan, nagtatalo ang mga saging kung sino yung pinakamasarap.
Sabi ni Latundan: “Small but sweet ako!”
Sabi naman ni Lakatan: “Big and sweeter ako no!”
Nalungkot si Saba kasi hindi sya sweet, kailangan pa niya mailuto at iba pa.
Kaya nag walk out sya at nakasalubong nya si brown sugar.
Ikinuwento nya ang nangyari.
Tumawa si brown sugar at sinabi kay Saba:
“It doesn’t matter how sweet you are”
“What matters most is how you make other special because of you”
“And you made me special”…
The Legend of Banana Q… Very inspiring no?

-----o-----

Kung pinagsasalitaan ka ng masakit ng friend mo.
Huwag kang magalit.
Sabi nga ni Donkey kay Shrek:
“Only true friends will be Cruelly Honest with you”

-----o-----

You won’t fully enjoy a swing,
Unless you raise your feet from the ground.
You won’t fully enjoy a boat ride,
Unless you remove the rope from the riverbank.
Your dog won’t fully enjoy its dog life,
Unless you remove the chain from its neck.
Lesson?
Never limit yourself when it comes to happiness.
Learn to let go and move on.
Remember that being happy is a choice.
Don’t let anything hold you back from being yourself.

-----o-----

Pulube sa Bakery:
Pulube: Pwede maka henge ng cake?
Tindera: Ambisyuso! Eto pandesal!!!
Pulube: Heller!!! Birthday ko kaya!

-----o-----

If people have to leave us in one way or another.
It would be best if they will do it 100% lie-free
And just slap the truth in our faces.
We all do deserve something better than just
Lame excuses because Lies in all sort
Make us appear stupid!

-----o-----

When you have done something wrong
Admit it and be sorry.
No one has ever been choked to death
From swallowing his pride.

-----o-----

Anak: Ma, may white hair ka na pala?
Mama: Oo anak and you are the reason.
Every stupidity ng anak puputi ang every hair ng Ina.
Anak: Ahhhh…Kaya pala si lola, puti na lahat buhok nya…

-----o-----

A good friend will never let there friends do stupid things…
ALONE!

-----o-----

Waiting for someone may not be a good idea after all…
Stealing them might be a better solution…

-----o-----

One day, a blind boy was sitting and waiting for someone to drop a coin so he can buy food. He had a blackboard beside him written, “I am Blind, please feel pity.” Suddenly, a man approached him and dropped a coin and erased what was written on the board. The boy realized it but ignored it. Later, he heard a lot of coins were being dropped in his can. After an hour, the man came back and asked how he was doing. The boy replied, “My can is full of coins. What did you write on my board?” The man read it and it said, “Today is a beautiful day. Too bad I can’t see it.”

-----o-----

Kinuha ng Kanong Pari si Erap as an Interpreter.
Pari: The Lord was crucified between two robbers.
Erap: Si Hesus ipinako sa gitna ng dalawang goma.
Pari: We need to sacrifice.
Erap: Kailangan natin ng dalawang sakong bigas.
Pari: If we do not repent.
Erap: Kapag hindi natin pipinturahan uli.
Pari: The wrath of God will come upon you.
Erap: Ang daga ng Diyos ay pupunta sayo.
(Nagtawanan)
Pari: Well…well…
Erap: Balon… balon…

Eight Lies Of A Mother

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:42:00 +0000

This story begins when I was a child: I was born poor. Often we hadn't enough to eat. Whenever we had some food, Mother often gave me her portion of rice. While she was transferring her rice into my bowl, she would say 'Eat this rice, son! I'm not hungry.'
That was Mother's First Lie.

As I grew, Mother gave up her spare time to fish in a river near our house; she hoped that from the fish she caught, she could give me a little bit more nutritious food for my growth. Once she had caught just two fish, she would make fish soup. While I was eating the soup, mother would sit beside me and eat what was still left on the bone of the fish I had eaten; my heart was touched when I saw it. Once I gave the other fish to her on my chopstick but she immediately refused it and said, 'Eat this fish, son! I don't really like fish.'
That was Mother's Second Lie.

Then, in order to fund my education, Mother went to a Match Factory to bring home some used matchboxes which she filled with fresh matchsticks. This helped her get some money to cover our needs. One wintry night I awoke to find Mother filling the matchboxes by candlelight. So I said, 'Mother, go to sleep; it's late: you can continue working tomorrow morning.' Mother smiled and said 'Go to sleep, son! I'm not tired.'
That was Mother's Third Lie.

When I had to sit my Final Examination, Mother accompanied me. After dawn, Mother waited for me for hours in the heat of the sun. When the bell rang, I ran to meet her. Mother embraced me and poured me a glass of tea that she had prepared in a thermos. The tea was not as strong as my Mother's love, Seeing Mother covered with perspiration; I at once gave her my glass and asked her to drink too. Mother said 'Drink, son! I'm not thirsty!
That was Mother's Fourth Lie.

After Father's death, Mother had to play the role of a single parent. She held on to her former job; she had to fund our needs alone. Our family's life was more complicated. We suffered from starvation. Seeing our family's condition worsening, my kind Uncle who lived near my house came to help us solve our problems big and small. Our other neighbors saw that we were poverty stricken so they often advised my mother to marry again. But Mother refused to remarry saying 'I don't need love.'
That was Mother's Fifth Lie.

After I had finished my studies and gotten a job, it was time for my old Mother to retire but she carried on going to the market every morning just to sell a few vegetables. I kept sending her money but she was steadfast and even sent the money back to me. She said, 'I have enough money.'
That was Mother's Sixth Lie.

I continued my part-time studies for my Master's Degree. Funded by the American Corporation for which I worked, I succeeded in my studies. With a big jump in my salary, I decided to bring Mother to enjoy life in America but Mother didn't want to bother her son; she said to me 'I'm not used to high living.'
That was Mother's Seventh Lie.

In her dotage, Mother was attacked by cancer and had to be hospitalized. Now living far across the ocean, I went home to visit Mother who was bedridden after an operation. Mother tried to smile but I was heartbroken because she was so thin and feeble but Mother said, 'Don't cry, son! I'm not in pain.'
That was Mother's Eighth Lie.

Telling me this, her eighth lie, she died. Yes, mother was an angel!
M - O - T - H - E - R
'M' is for the Million things she gave me,
'O' means only that she's growing old,
'T' is for the Tears she shed to save me,
'H' is for her Heart of gold,
'E' is for her Eyes with love-light shining in them,
'R' means Right, and right she'll always be,

Put them all together, they spell 'MOTHER' a word that means the world to me. For those of you who are lucky to be still blessed with your Mom's presence on Earth, this story is beautiful. For those who aren't so blessed, this is even more beautiful.

Awww... Cool story... Happy Mother's Day to all mom out there... Ey guys, if you want to share some stories... Feel free to express yourself... God Bless Yah All

How To Forward E-mail Appropriately

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Tue, 13 May 2008 03:21:00 +0000

Ey guys... I received this one from a friend of mine... I find the information very useful, so I would like to share this to all of you...

Do you really know how to forward e-mails? 50% of us do; 50% DO NOT.
Do you wonder why you get viruses or junk mail? Do you hate it?

Every time you forward an e-mail there is information left over from the people who got the message before you, namely their e-mail addresses & names. As the messages get forwarded along, the list of addresses builds, and builds, and builds, and all it takes is for some poor sap to get a virus, and his or her computer can send that virus to every e-mail address that has come across his computer. Or, someone can take all of those addresses and sell them or send junk mail to them in the hopes that you will go to the site and he will make five cents for each hit.

That's right, all of that inconvenience over a nickel!

How do you stop it? Well, there are several easy steps:

(1) When you forward an e-mail, DELETE all of the other addresses that appear in the body of the message (at the top). That's right, DELETE them. Highlight them and delete them, backspace them, cut them, whatever it is you know how to do. It only takes a second You MUST click the "Forward" button first and then you will have full editing capabilities against the body and headers of the message. If you don't click on "Forward" first, you won't be able to edit the message at all.

(2) Whenever you send an e-mail to more than one person, do NOT use the To: or Cc: fields for adding e-mail addresses. Always use the BCC: (blind carbon copy) field for listing the e-mail addresses. This is the way the people you send to will only see their own e-mail address. If you don't see your BCC: option click on where it says To: and your address list will appear. Highlight the address and choose BCC: and that's it, it's that easy. When you send to BCC: your message will automatically say "Undisclosed Recipients" in the "TO:" field of the people who receive it.

(3) Remove any "FW :" in the subject line. You can re-name the subject if you wish or even fix spelling.

(4) ALWAYS hit your Forward button from the actual e-mail you are reading. Ever get those e-mails that you have to open 10 pages to read the one page with the information on it? By Forwarding from the actual page you wish someone to view, you stop them from having to open many e-mails just to see what you sent.

(5) Have you ever gotten an email that is a petition? It states a position and asks you to add your name and address and to forward it to 10 or 15 people or your entire address book. The email can be forwarded on and on and can collect thousands of names and email addresses. A FACT: The completed petition is actually worth a couple of bucks to a professional spammer because of the wealth of valid names and email addresses contained therein. If you want to support the petition, send it as your own personal letter to the intended recipient. Your position may carry more weight as a personal letter than a laundry list of names and email address on a petition. (Actually, if you think about it, who's supposed to send the petition in to whatever cause it supports? And don 't believe the ones that say that the email is being traced, it just aint so!)

(6) One of the main ones I hate is the ones that say that something like, "Send this email to 10 people and you'll see something great run across your screen." Or, sometimes they'll just tease you by saying something really cute will happen IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!!!! (Trust me, I'm still seeing some of the same ones that I waited on 10 years ago!) I don't let the bad luck ones scare me either, they get trashed. (Could be why I haven't won the lottery??)

(7) Before you forward an Amber Alert, or a Virus Alert, or some of the other ones floating around nowadays, check them out before you forward them. Most of them are junk mail that's been circling the net for YEARS! Just about everything you receive in an email that is in question can be checked out at Snopes. Just go to http://www.snopes. com/

It's really easy to find out if it's real or not. If it's NOT, PLEASE DON'T PASS IT ON.

So please, in the future, let's stop the junk mail and the viruses.

Let Kids Be Heard

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 16:44:00 +0000

Thanks to my friend Kristi for sending this pictures to my email... I hope she will not get mad at me for posting this in my blog...haha :P Anyway guys, visit her blog too: A Heart Out Thanks a lot! God Bless You All...

Have You Ever Been This Tired?

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sat, 26 Apr 2008 15:31:00 +0000

Love FlowChart

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Sun, 20 Apr 2008 07:31:00 +0000

This is for everyone... Let's try this one... Start from the upper-left corner... Be Honest and No Cheating Plssss... Haha

Click Here To Enlarge Image

Sulat ni Nanay at Tatay

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Thu, 20 Mar 2008 05:20:00 +0000

Sa aking Anak,

Sa aking pagtanda, unawain mo sana ako at pagpasensiyahan.

Kapag dala ng kalabuan ng mata ay nakabasag ako ng pinggan o nakatapon ng sabaw sa hapag kainan, huwag mo sana akong kagagalitan. Maramdamin ang isang matanda. Nagse-self-pity ako sa tuwing sinisigawan mo ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tenga ko at hindi ko maintindihan ang sinasabi mo, huwag mo naman sana akong sabihan ng "binge!" paki-ulit nalang ang sinabi mo o pakisulat nalang. Pasensya ka na, anak. Matanda na talaga ako.

Kapag mahina na ang tuhod ko, pagtiyagaan mo sana akong tulungang tumayo, katulad ng pag-aalalay ko sa iyo noong nag-aaral ka pa lamang lumakad.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana ako kung ako man ay nagiging makulit at paulit-ulit na parang sirang plaka. Basta pakinggan mo nalang ako. Huwag mo sana akong pagtatawanan o pagsasawaang pakinggan.

Natatandaan mo anak noong bata ka pa? kapag gusto mo ng lobo, paulit-ulit mo 'yong sasabihin, maghapon kang mangungulit hangga't hindi mo nakukuha ang gusto mo. Pinagtyagaan ko ang kakulitan mo.

Pagpasensyahan mo na rin sana ang aking amoy. Amoy matanda, amoy lupa. Huwag mo sana akong piliting maligo. Mahina na ang katawan ko. Madaling magkasakit kapag nalamigan, huwag mo sana akong pandirihan.

Natatandaan mo noong bata ka pa? pinatyagaan kitang habulin sa ilalim ng kama kapag ayaw mong maligo.

Pagpasensyahan mo sana kung madalas, ako'y masungit, dala na marahil ito ng katandaan. Pagtanda mo, maiintindihan mo rin.

Kapag may konti kang panahon, magkwentuhan naman tayo, kahit sandali lang. Inip na ako sa bahay, maghapong nag-iisa. Walang kausap.

Alam kong busy ka sa trabaho,subalit nais kong malaman mo na sabik na sabik na akong makakwentuhan ka, kahit alam kong hindi ka interesado sa mga kwento ko.

Natatandaan mo anak, noong bata ka pa? Pinagtyagaan kong pakinggan at intindihin ang pautal-utal mong kwento tungkol sa iyong teddy bear.

At kapag dumating ang sandali na ako'y magkakasakit at maratay sa banig ng karamdaman, huwag mo sana akong pagsawaang alagaan.

Pagpasensyahan mo na sana kung ako man ay maihi o madumi sa higaan, pagtyagaan mo sana akong alagaan sa mga huling sandali ng aking buhay. Tutal hindi na naman ako magtatagal.

Kapag dumating ang sandali ng aking pagpanaw, hawakan mo sana ang aking kamay at bigyan mo ako ng lakas ng loob na harapin ang kamatayan.

Hug Certificate For You

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Thu, 06 Mar 2008 17:30:00 +0000

If I could catch a rainbow

I would do it just for you
and share with you its beauty
On the days you're feeling blue.

If I could build a mountain
You could call your very own;
A place to find serenity,
A place to be alone.

If I could take your troubles
I would toss them in the sea,
But all these things I'm finding
are impossible for me.

I cannot build a mountain
Or catch a rainbow fair,
But let me be what I know best,
A friend who's always there.

This is a Hug Certificate For You!!!

The Secret

noreply@blogger.com (Alvin) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 18:34:00 +0000

One day, one friend asked another, 'How is it that you are always so happy? You have so much energy, and you never seem to get down.'
With her eyes smiling, she said, 'I know the Secret!'
'What secret is that?', To which she replied,
'I'll tell you all about it, but you have to promise to share the Secret with others.'

'The Secret is this:
I have learned there is little I can do in my life that will make me truly happy. I must depend on God to make me happy and to meet my needs. When a need arises in my life, I have to trust God to supply according to HIS riches. I have learned most of the time. I don't need half of what I think I do. He has never let me down. Since I learned that 'Secret', I am happy.'

The questioner's first thought was,
'That's too simple!'
But upon reflecting over her own life, she recalled how she thought a bigger house would make her happy, but it didn't!
She thought a better paying job would make her happy, but it hadn't.
When did she realize her greatest happiness?
Sitting on the floor with her grandchildren, playing games, eating pizza or reading a story, a simple gift from God.

Now you know it too! We can't depend on people to make us happy. Only GOD in His infinite wisdom can do that.
Trust HIM!
And now I pass the Secret on to you! So once you get it, what will you do?

YOU have to tell someone the Secret, too! That GOD in His wisdom will take care of YOU! But it's not really a secret...
We just have to believe it and do it. Really trust God!

God Bless You All!!!