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Monday, September 8, 2008

Joke Time (Part 5)

TEACHER: Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK: Because of the sign.
TEACHER: What sign?
FRANK: The one that says, 'School Ahead, Go Slow.'
***
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables!
***
TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?'
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L'
TEACHER: No, that's wrong
GLENN: Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
***
TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O!
***
TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
***
TEACHER: Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
***
TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.'
MILLIE: I is...
TEACHER: No, Millie..... Always say, 'I am.'
MILLIE: All right... 'I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.'
***
TEACHER: Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO: Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time.
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?'
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
***
TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
***
TEACHER: Clyde, your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE: No, teacher, it's the same dog!
***
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher.

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