Pages

AdSense Top

Friday, August 31, 2007

A Picture Says a Thousand Words


Wehehe God Bless You All!!!

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Pa'no Kung Si Noah Ay Isang Pinoy???

Oo nga no? Ano kaya nangyari sa Pilipinas? Paano yung barko?

Ganito ang mangyayari sa barko...

Taong 2005 at isang ordinaryong middle class pinoy si Noah. Nagpakita sa kanya ang Diyos at sinabing "Pagkataposng isang taon ay bubuhos ang ulan at babahain ang buong kapuluan ng Pilipinas. Gusto kong gumawa ka ng isang malaking barko at isakay mo rito ang pares-pares na mga hayop at mga mag-asawang pilipino sa iba't ibang kapuluan." Ibinigay kay Noah ang specs ng barko at taos puso nitong tinanggap ang responsibilidad na sagipin ang sambayanang Pilipino sa napipintong pagbaha.

Lumipas ang taon, muling nagpakita ang Diyos kay Noah. Walang arkong nagawa si Noah at galit na galit siyang tinanong ng Diyos, "Nasaan ang barko na ipinagawa ko sa iyo?" Tumugon si Noah, "Patawarin po ninyo ako kung di po natupad ang utos ninyo! Nagkaroon po ng malaking problema sa plano po ninyo."

At inilahad ni Noah ang mga sagabal na nakaharap niya sa pag-gawa ng barko. Humingi siya ng Mayor's permit pero papayag lang daw si Mayor kung ang gagawa ng barko ay ang construction firm ng kanyang pamangkin. Tumungo siya sa Congressman pero papayag lang daw si Congressman kung may matatanggap siyang 30% commission. Nagtayo ng unyon ang mga kinuha niyang manggagawa at nag-strike.



Natunugan ng mga left-leaning groups ang kanyang balak at ang mga ito ay nag-rally dahil daw sa hindi matarungang pagpili ng mga taong sasakay sa barko (mga taong naniniwala lang sa Diyos ang pwedeng sumakay). Nakisali sa rally ang mga bakla at tomboy dahil bias daw na normal na mag-asawa lang ang pwedeng sumakay.

Ang civil society group ay nakisali na rin sa gulo dahil napag-alaman daw nila na ang pondong gagamitin sa paggawa ng barko ay galing sa donasyon ng mga gambling lords at katas ng weteng.

Sa kaguluhang ito ay napilitang magpatawag ng hearing ang senado "in aid of legislation". Sinubukan ni Noah na gamitin ang EO 464 para makaiwas sa hearing pero dahil hindi sya executive official, napilitan siyang tumistigo.

Nang malaman ng senado na utos ng Diyos ang pagpapagawa ng barko, dineklara nila itong unconstitutional dahil hindi raw nito iginalang ang separation ng church at state .

Nakialam na rin ang NBI at PNP at sinabi nilang meron silang impormasyon na ang barko raw na ito ay gagamitin ni Erap sa kanyang pagtakas. Sinabi naman ng ISAFP at DOJ na ito raw ay gagamitin ng grupong Magdalo sa binabalak nilang coup laban kay Arroyo. Nilapitan ni Noah si Mike Defensor para makipag-usap kay GMA. Payag daw si GMA na ituloy ang arko kung ipapaskil daw sa barko ang malaking mukha ni Arroyo na may slogan "Towards a Strong Republic". "Hindi po ako pumayag kaya hanggang ngayon po ay may TRO ang pag-gawa ng barko. Sa palagay ko po kailangan ko pa ng 10 taon para matapos ang inyong proyekto." Ang huling wika ni Noah. Napa-iling ang Diyos at sinabing, "Di ko na kailangang wasakin pa ang bansang ito. Hayaan ko na lang kayong sumira nito."

Thanks Kristi for this post...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Erap Jokes

Teacher: (talking to ERAP) Can you give me an example of a beast of burden?
ERAP: Carabao, ma'am!
Teacher: Very good, ERAP. Can you give another example?
ERAP: How about another Carabao?
--------------------
Driver to Erap: Sir, pweding pakitingin kung umiilaw yung parking light
(as driver switches on the parking light)
Erap: OK, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir, yung headlights, umiilaw ba? (as driver switches on the headlights)
Erap: OK rin, its ON! Gumagana.
Driver: Sir yung signal light pakitingin? (as driver switches on the signal light)
Erap: Gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw, ay gumagana, ay ayaw.......
--------------------
Reporter to Erap alighting from a PAL flight: "Mr. President, what can
you say about the economy?"
Erap: "I don't know, kasi nasa first class ako."
--------------------
Erap while translating a speech from Tagalog to English.
"We must strive"
Translation: Kailangan nating magsikap.
"We must help others"
Translation: Kailangan nating magtulungan.
"In union there is strenght"
Translation: SA SIBUYAS ME TIGAS !!!
--------------------
Sa isang party. Sabi ng isang Ambassador to Erap,
"I haven't met your wife. Where is she?"
Napadaan si First Lady Loi. Sabi ni Erap, "Oh, my wife just passed away."
--------------------
ERAP ordering coffee at Starbucks
Waiter: DECAF?
ERAP: OO, alangan naman dePLATE
--------------------
While in a drug store.
Erap: I'd like some vitamins for my grandson.
Pharmacist: Sir, vitamin A, B or C?
Erap: It does not matter, cuz he can't read yet!!
--------------------
The Estrada's ' were shown into the dentist's office, where
Erap made it clear he was in a big hurry.
"No fancy stuff, Doctor," he ordered. "No gas or needles or
any of that stuff. Just pull the tooth and get it over with."
"I wish more of my patients were as stoic as you," said the
dentist admiringly. "Now, which tooth is it?"
Erap turned to his wife Loi. "Show him your tooth, Honey."
--------------------
On board an Air Force plane that Erap had commandeered to
pursue a group of kidnappers on another plane, the pilot t
ells Erap: "Sir, enemy plane comming in at 5 o'clock."
Erap replies: "Good. We have time to plan our moves.
It's only 4:25 by my watch."
--------------------
Eraps walks into a casino where he see's a coke vending machine.
He puts in some money and a coke falls out. He smiles and keeps
putting in more and more money, and getting heaps of cokes. He does
this for about an hour or so until an aide comes up to him and says
"Havent you had enough, Sir?" and he says back, "No! Cant you see I'm winning!"
--------------------
Sa panliligaw ni Erap, mahilig siyang sumulat ng coded love
messages tulad ng:
ITALY - I truly adore and love you
SASAYA - Stay as Sweet as you are
Para lalong bumilib and kanyang nililigawan , sinikap niyang
gumawa ng "love letter" na gamit and alphabet:
ABC - Always be careful
DEF - Don't Ever forget
GHI - Go Home Immediately
JKLM - Just Keep Loving Me
NOPQRSTUVW - No One Perfectly Quite Romantic Should
Treat U Very Well
Napa-whew at pinagpawisan si Erap. Tatlong titik na lang and
natitira...XYZ.
Pinag-isipan ito nang husto ni Erap. Makalipas ang oras,
napangiti siya at pinalakpakan ang kanyang sarili bago
sinulat ang:
XYZ - Xee You Zoon!!
--------------------
Erap: Miss, do you have a ballpen?
Clerk: Sorry, sir we don’t have any ballpens
Erap (angry): Why did you name your store “Penshoppe“?
--------------------
Exec Sec Zamora
: Sir, puwede bang palitan 'tong laptop ko?
Erap:
Bakit?
Zamora:
Masyadong mabigat, eh!
Erap:
Ba't di ka mag-delete ng files para gumaan?
--------------------

Haha I used to searched for this jokes when I was still working at Eversun.
Thanks to all the people who posted this in the net.

Best Student Part 2

Thanks to my cousin, I took this images from her email this morning. Haha



Wednesday, August 22, 2007

My Celebrity Look A Likes

Naaa.... Just got bored here in the office... After a few minutes of browsing the net, I ended up to this site. So I think finding my Celebrity Look A Likes is not that hard. hehe


Ok. Have to go back to work now. God Bless You All.

Saturday, August 4, 2007

Pinoy Transformers



----------
BarriCART
----------



----------
BumbleJEEP
----------



----------
FrenZIKAD
----------



----------
MegaTRIKE
----------



----------
OptiBUSprime
----------



----------
StrICECREAM
----------

I received this images from my friend, Kristi. Thanks my friend! And who ever made this, thanks to you too... Good job. (",)